03 July 2013
the universe has a plan...
One day life seems difficult but do able, the next...not so much.
I'm coming off a lot of antibiotics and steroid burst prescriptions for various reasons and yesterday seemed to be the culmination of the nightmare reactions. Yesterday, my body refused to work, I mean really, it was like it sagged in on itself on the sofa and said, nope, nothing doin'. I was in bed before dark, asleep.
If you've been reading here for any length of time you know that I have a chronic disabling illness. I also have other health concerns that are affected/effected (I can never get that right) by the main chronic problem. In addition to all the regular health related mess I have to try to keep up with I received a lovely jolt to my foot from a very nasty pair of pruning shears. And by 'nasty', I'm not implying they were mean. (On THE day I was throwing a party - with real actual human guests expected, something I haven't done in 19 years!) Long story short on the foot, didn't tend it properly right away, was on it until well into the early am hours and ended up in Urgent Care next morning with a rather large foot and infection.
Foot is better now, still bruised and ugly but no infection, no swelling, good to go. Yay, Foot!
One day last week (while still on extra meds) I did a count to see just how many medications (actual pills and or shots) I have to take in a day. There was 1 shot and 25 pills. I am 44 years old. How ridiculous is that? It might be one thing, if they helped me at all, but at least 90% of them do nothing to help with the intended illness and cause side effects that just exacerbate the illnesses. But...I will continue to do what my doctors tell me, as best I can.
I want to get better. I want to feel better. I don't want to have any more days like yesterday. There have been way too many of them in the past and I want to have a good life. I want to have a life.
Time for a bright spot to bring things around. Isn't that hydrangea beautiful? My paternal grandmother always had huge gorgeous hydrangeas in her garden and I've always loved them. My step mother gave me this one a few years ago. It is so loaded with blooms right now and just the perfect shade of blue.
Let's see, where shall we go? Oh yes, last post I mentioned my next couple weeks had turned all topsy turvey and this brings me to the universe. I should be planning and plotting and gathering to spend next week in the mountains attending an art workshop with one of my all time favorite artists. Seriously, this woman is a Goddess and I adore her.
After a lovely week learning and creating and breathing in that wonderful mountain air I was to arrive home just in time for a Tea Party. (I do so hope you can attend!)
And then turn around in one day for a lovely 3-5 day stay at hospital an hour from home (who shall remain nameless for I cannot stand to speak it's very name for several very silly reasons, really). During this lovely stay I shall be the recipient of countless wonder drugs (IV drips) of magical elixirs that will hopefully break the cycle of chronic pain that I've endured every moment of every day for over seven long, long years. Oh, and I get to have a hole punched into my spine (because the first time just wasn't fun enough!) And while I was to be in hospital my family (both mum and dad) were to be out of town.
So, last week I think it was, just as I am sitting down to order my supplies for that art workshop (list and credit card in hand) In steps The Universe to let me know there has been a change in plans. Workshop canceled (astounding to me I was the only person to sign up) and hospital stay moved up a week.
It is still crazy, I have no idea what time I go in, how long I'll really be there, etc, etc., etc. I like details. If I have something to do I want to know each detail like what to bring, what to leave home, is there wi-fi so I can do something fun like surf the net and keep up with my blog friends, something other than lie there and let this magical elixir drip into my veins for hours and days at a time. Because if all I can do is lie there and let my brain ramble? I'll be going from hospital to mental institution and who would tend my pumpkins then?
I think it's time to wrap this up. I'm still really tired. But I've been awake since 2am. Errands need to be run today, phone calls made, info acquired, you know the drill. But I really just keep thinking that The Universe is giving me a break on this. It's okay if I vegetate on the couch one day. It's okay if my body says, No, not today. Everything will get done eventually and if it doesn't, it didn't really need to be done, right?
One week of crazy as opposed to two or more. Thank you Universe. If I'd had those two weeks work out, it could have been August before I was able to move again.
So, I'm going to try to get back with at least one more post (hopefully something of a much more fun and cheerful nature) before Monday. But just in case, would you say a little prayer for me next week - to whoever/whomever works for you. This whole thing is really a big experiment and I don't like being the guinea pig. I would really appreciate the kindness.
Oh, and pray that my dad waters the pumpkins not the weeds (and that he leaves the Round-Up at home) - or that it just rains all week. :-)
ps...i realized during a dish washing session yesterday that I left off a most valuable asset in the garden blog world on the last post. If you have not visited these lovely people and you are interested in organic gardening/homesteading, etc. It is a must read. I've learned so much from them and really enjoy their blog.