28 January 2010

winter wishing

winter is not over yet. we're under a winter weather warning for tomorrow and saturday. they say we could get from 5 to 8 inches of snow and possibly more. i'm very happy about this.

i took care of grocers this evening, so tomorrow i only have to get gas for the car and dog food. then i'll be ready to hunker down for the weekend, watching the snow, some movies and maybe do some cleaning and knitting.

i've been feeling compelled to keep my head covered for some reason. i have a kerchief that i put on as soon as i walk in the door and leave it on except while i sleep. it isn't nice enough to be able to wear to work, so the calorimetry listed in the side bar should do the trick for wearing at work. must get knitting...

i also hope to do some baking this weekend. i still haven't broken in my beautiful kitchen aid. i've felt so poorly since the holidays that i haven't used any of my gifts really (except the scrap pail).

well, i'm off to take my meds then snuggle down in the bed to read for a bit. i just have one more day of work and hope that i can feel up to going in the morning. i'm still waiting to hear when the mri and sleep study will be, but hopefully they will call with those appointment times tomorrow.

winter blessings!

26 January 2010

of drugs and hope

That last post was the beginning of a mighty downfall. The next day dawned with the worst migraine I'd ever had. I was bedridden for five days. I could barely make it to the bathroom and messed up the beastie's meds twice. Saturday I began to feel human again, enough that I could sit up on the sofa, watch a little Hell's Kitchen (with the volume turned very low) and surf on the net a bit.

Sunday, it started going back down hill. I was desperate on Monday after five more days away from work. Five days that I don't have coverage for. Five days that will be docked from my pay. Today actually made six. But hope is on the horizon.

Yesterday I called my physician's office and they were able to fit me in first thing this morning. After a brief discussion, very simple exam and an A1C test, she referred me to a neurologist (and put me back on Byetta because my A1C has gone back up to 8.5).

The neurologist was able to see me this afternoon and so I spent the majority of the day either in the doctor's office, driving to and from or at the pharmacist. The neurologist has given me Oxycodone (which makes me very dizzy and loopy feeling), phenegren (which is quite handy as the oxycodone makes me quite nauseous as well) and keppra (which i'll take daily). He's also prescribed some sort of nose spray that has to be specially made. The oxy and nose spray are to be taken sparsely.

Before the week is out, I will be contacted with dates for both an MRI and a sleep study. He also mentioned the possibility of needing to do a spinal tap (which completely freaked me out).

Oh, I almost forgot, one of his first questions after he looked over my paperwork was to ask how much work I'd missed over the past year. He highly recommended that I get an FLMA or FMLA form from our HR department and bring it in. I plan to do that tomorrow when (because I'm determined to make it) I get to work. I also plan to discuss the situation with my supervisor.

Anyway, I hope this post makes sense. The drugs are making me loopy and I can't think very clearly. Hmmm...maybe this post wasn't such a good idea? :)


19 January 2010



the word has stuck with me, every moment since i found it

every time i start to falter, to give up, to look the other way or take the easy way out, i remember that word and i remember the promise i made to myself

i sit at home now, after a long night (well, early morning) of purging my stomach. i don't know if i caught a bug, or ate something bad, but i could tell after a few hours of sicking up that there was more to come and it wouldn't do to take myself off to work. i mean really, it's bad enough to have to hang over your own toilet, much less a semi-public one. ewww

i feel horrible and so let down that i didn't make it in to work today. i'd made it a game you see, of how long i could go without missing a day. four whole weeks i made it, until today. well... i'll just start my game again tomorrow and this time make it even longer

this past week has been such a roller coaster and i am so not a fan. who knows, maybe it was just the turmoil that finally had to find a way out of my system that caused the sickening.

i'm always so emotionally sensitive about things. missing children cases, murders, they all get to me but this... this catastrophe that is Haiti, just destroyed me. from the first news, i was sucked in, i think i saw more of CNN than i'd seen in all my life. the horror of those people, trapped, starving, losing limbs in order to be rescued from collapsed buildings, only to die later from not having medical attention to stop up the wounds. it just shatters my heart.

not being able to be there personally, i've tried to do what i can in some small way to help... a few small donations, attending a prayer vigil to send healing energy, lots of prayers and candles lit. i intend to send a larger donation (as much as i can) to attempt to help a specific person in Haiti. He's a very dear man that I met when i took that trip to New Orleans a few years ago. It took four days from the time of the earthquake, but we found out that he is okay. It was a small miracle to me, those three words that came in the form of a text. He is okay.


we've had a few days of warmth, the kind of days that make you wish for spring. only, i don't. i'm not ready for spring, the flowers, the weeding, the planting. i'm still in the planning stages. wishing for more snow, wishing for cold so that i can hide here in my cozy little cottage, with a good book (or more likely my blog list) and hunker down.

i did sit outside for a few minutes a little while ago. i sat in the sun, watching the beastie sniff around the yard and listening to the birds as they scrounge around hunting up their next meal, absorbing a little warmth.

dearest gods and goddesses of weather, it is only the mid of January, much too early to be walking barefoot out of doors. please send us another bout of cold temperatures and lots of snow would be an especially nice bonus.
your servant always,
the spiritwitch :)


13 January 2010


Please take a moment today to say a prayer for the people of Haiti. The entire country and every soul there needs help and prayers to survive this catastrophe. If you want to donate funds to help, please be careful and chose a service that you know is a valid service, (ie: Red Cross, Doctors without Borders, etc). Already many horrible people are setting up scams to steal money that is desperately needed in Haiti.

Please... pray.


06 January 2010


did you hear that? that sound? you know the one, like a kitchen timer going off or the light going on in your head? well, i just had a ding. seriously...not five minutes ago.

remember how i said i knew my word would find me? well... ding!

there i was, sitting here catching up on my favorite blogs when this word appears in my mind, bright, bold and then literally, DING!


to persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement
to bolster, sustain, or uphold

my life has been one lacking in what i have always called "follow through"

i have great ideas and plans, but i have been unable to see most of them through to their conclusions

here are a few examples
~ exercise - i joined the local ymca almost two years ago, went five days a week to swim for just over six months, then one day stopped going and haven't been back since (of course i'm still paying for the membership) *i want to swim again*
~ faith - i am an intuitive, medium and empath, yet 90% of the time i work hard to block that part of me, i'm also a witch and a rootworker/conjurer. i've worked as a tarot reader and enjoyed it for the most part but i let my self doubt get the best of me *i want to use my gifts to help people*
~ creativity - i have a number of creative ideas, a few i've made and have sold, several i have left swirling in my mind too afraid or unsure to give them a try *i want to explore this side of myself*
~ health - i'm a type 2 adult onset diabetic, i was diagnosed two years ago (actually a few months before i joined the Y) - at first i was very careful about my diet and was able to curb my notorious sweet tooth, after a year i was able (with medications) to get my A1C down from 8.5 to 5.9. my doc was suitably impressed and left me to my own devices - no more meds...well i haven't had my A1C checked in a while, but when i do check my blood sugar it is in the high 200's to low 300's. i know this is bad, yet i can't stop myself from drinking pepsi, eating a piece of candy or 10; bread, pasta and potatoes continue to be a big part of my diet. i also have not been having my checkups that i need - things like the dentist, podiatrist, even the dreaded oc checkup; then there are the migraines. *i want to take care of my health, live healthier, get rid of the migraines*

~ work - well...what can i say about that? i've missed a lot, i let myself use the migraines to give me a reason not to go in, i take any excuse, ugh... *i want to be a good employee, prompt, in attendance, useful*

like i said, those are a few examples. i could go on, but those are the things that stand out the most to me.

i think this year, 2010, is the year for me to persevere

"Life is not easy for any of us. We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained." Marie Curie

i must believe that i am gifted for something and that this thing must be attained...i will persevere to attain that something


02 January 2010


It is very cold outside. I think the current temp is 26 with a wind chill of 14. Very cold for around here. Needless to say I was only outside twice today for a few seconds, long enough to put out the mail and then bring it in. It was a beautiful sunshine-y day. If it had been warmer I probably would have spent some time out there, looking for inspirations to take photos of and picking up fallen tree limbs.

In anticipation of the coming arctic air and a long weekend at home, I picked up some new yarn on Thursday.

I'm planning to make this as an introduction to hats. I started the gauge swatch a little while ago, something I rarely do when I knit, but seem to have misplaced my measuring tape and can't find it anywhere.

While at Joann's I found this pretty fabric bundle.

I'm not sure what I'm going to make yet. I've always wanted to learn to quilt and this might inspire me to make a small quilt to help me learn.

I've still not found my word for the year. I'm not worried, I know that when the time is right, it will come.

I finally took the kitchen-aid out of the box and have it set up in a corner on the kitchen counter. I think the first thing I'm going to make using it is bread. I've been wanting to make a good loaf bread, but I've misplaced my great-grandmother's recipe. It is my favorite loaf bread. I'll probably spend some time tonight searching for a good recipe. If anyone has any recommendations, let me know.

It's time for a movie, I can't decide between action or romantic comedy. I'll contemplate it while I fix spaghetti.

This song has been swimming in my head for a few weeks now.

How is your Saturday?