31 May 2010

in pictures

Chocolate Madness...the best chocolate cake I've ever had...

first peaches of the season...i can't wait to put these over vanilla ice cream later...

so many blooms on this hydrangea...

the troublemaker in my garden...

Happy Memorial Day or as they used to call it, Decoration Day. I wish to give a heartfelt thank you to all the servicemen and women who have risked or given their lives to keep us safe.


28 May 2010

to try again

i keep trying to come here...to type words that i think would be interesting but my mind is full of drugs (oh so many prescriptions that i hate taking) and my thoughts and words flit away before i can capture them here on the screen.

it has been a rough couple of weeks...i am now out of sick or annual leave days and so any time that i am not at work, i now do not get paid for...if the absences keep up my checks will get smaller and i don't know what i'll do.

i'm listening to it storm outside..a good thunder kicker and a few flashes of lightening so far...i'm hoping for more and for lots of rain.

i've lost the cord to download my pictures from my camera... as soon as i find it i have some pictures to share...

here's to a wonderful long weekend...

03 May 2010

round and round we go

Saturday was a decent day. I went to the curb market early and got these beautiful flowers and strawberries.

I don't recall if I mentioned that my Dad is going to work the garden with me this year. He came over and we went and got plants and then got to work in the garden. It took about 3 and 1/2 hours but we got everything planted and the garden all cleaned up. (He's really OCD about stuff and wasn't happy until it was all nice and neat.)

I thought I'd taken a picture of the whole garden, but apparently not. You can see a few of the tomatoes and some other plants here.

We planted two rows of green beans, two German Johnson tomatoes, four Better Boy tomatoes, one grape tomato and one Mortgage Lifter tomato. Four slicing cucumber plants, four straight neck yellow squash plants, three okra plants, two Dusky eggplant plants, one red bell pepper, one green bell pepper and one jalapeno pepper plant. The garden is very full, but I'm hoping everything does well. Dad doesn't have much faith in my organic gardening skills and keeps wanting to spray with weedkiller and fertilizers. I've made him promise he will stick to my system.

After he left, I worked another couple hours in the yard, mowing and general futzing around. For dinner I made Alfredo with sauteed mushrooms and some of that roasted chicken from the other night. It was very good. Sunday was a lay around the house day and spent it reading a book. After two decent days it was quite a shock to wake up around 1am after a horrendous nightmare in which some strange creature was using a sledgehammer to pound railroad spikes into my head. The dream either triggered another migraine or the migraine triggered the dream. I'm not really sure which it is, but I've spent all day either in bed in pain or on the sofa in pain. Not sure what to do about this anymore.

The worst part is that I called my mum, she always insists that I call her if I don't make it into work. So, I called and she said she thinks I'll lose my job. After months of encouraging me that everything will be fine, she finally changed her tune. I knew it was coming, she never has these types of issues and doesn't understand me at all. She doesn't understand how I can't just get up and push through and I don't know how to make her understand. After listening to her rant for about five minutes I finally said I had to go, that my head hurt too much to listen to one of her lectures.

It's times like this when I just want to let everything go and slide off into a sleep that I can't wake up from. Either that or pick up and leave town and never see or speak to her again. She keeps asking me how long it took me to get over this before, referring to a time almost ten years ago when I couldn't leave my house for about two months. She doesn't seem to understand the difference between migraines and panic attacks. I've told her each time that this isn't the same thing I was experiencing back then, but as with everything else I say to her, she just doesn't listen.

I'm hopeful that I'll be able to make it to work tomorrow. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to get through the night tonight, the day tomorrow and the days to come without the excruciating pain in my head.

Thank you for all the kind comments and emails I've been getting. It helps to know that someone in the world cares and is wishing me well.