ding

did you hear that? that sound? you know the one, like a kitchen timer going off or the light going on in your head? well, i just had a ding. seriously...not five minutes ago.

remember how i said i knew my word would find me? well... ding!

there i was, sitting here catching up on my favorite blogs when this word appears in my mind, bright, bold and then literally, DING!

persevere

to persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement
to bolster, sustain, or uphold

my life has been one lacking in what i have always called "follow through"

i have great ideas and plans, but i have been unable to see most of them through to their conclusions

here are a few examples
~ exercise - i joined the local ymca almost two years ago, went five days a week to swim for just over six months, then one day stopped going and haven't been back since (of course i'm still paying for the membership) *i want to swim again*
~ faith - i am an intuitive, medium and empath, yet 90% of the time i work hard to block that part of me, i'm also a witch and a rootworker/conjurer. i've worked as a tarot reader and enjoyed it for the most part but i let my self doubt get the best of me *i want to use my gifts to help people*
~ creativity - i have a number of creative ideas, a few i've made and have sold, several i have left swirling in my mind too afraid or unsure to give them a try *i want to explore this side of myself*
~ health - i'm a type 2 adult onset diabetic, i was diagnosed two years ago (actually a few months before i joined the Y) - at first i was very careful about my diet and was able to curb my notorious sweet tooth, after a year i was able (with medications) to get my A1C down from 8.5 to 5.9. my doc was suitably impressed and left me to my own devices - no more meds...well i haven't had my A1C checked in a while, but when i do check my blood sugar it is in the high 200's to low 300's. i know this is bad, yet i can't stop myself from drinking pepsi, eating a piece of candy or 10; bread, pasta and potatoes continue to be a big part of my diet. i also have not been having my checkups that i need - things like the dentist, podiatrist, even the dreaded oc checkup; then there are the migraines. *i want to take care of my health, live healthier, get rid of the migraines*

~ work - well...what can i say about that? i've missed a lot, i let myself use the migraines to give me a reason not to go in, i take any excuse, ugh... *i want to be a good employee, prompt, in attendance, useful*

like i said, those are a few examples. i could go on, but those are the things that stand out the most to me.

i think this year, 2010, is the year for me to persevere

"Life is not easy for any of us. We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained." Marie Curie

i must believe that i am gifted for something and that this thing must be attained...i will persevere to attain that something

blessings
~*~