gratitude... a year in review...

 

hello, my dears...

the end of 2020 is here and for some it is already 2021.  i'm fairly certain there is not a person on the planet that is not happy to see this year end and a new one begin.  i know i am.  how about you?

i don't have a lot of photos to share in this post.  the top is how my art desk looks now.  i've spent some time this week getting it cleaned up and changing it up a bit.  now it is ready for the new year and new arting.

the second photo is of an art journal spread i did on the 14th.  i was feeling very, very bad.  a combination of a burgeoning migraine and depression and was trying to fight the pull of the well.  i wanted to paint, but i also just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days.  i remembered something effy wild said about how even if you don't feel like it, come to the table.  so i did.  i was very happy i did and i loved how she turned out.  i chose 'choice' as the word at her throat because i made the choice to keep myself out of the well for that day.  and that was good.  and that was progress...

so...

my word for 2020 was gratitude.  i had a tendency to not be grateful for things that i should and i learned during 2019 that i had a lot to be grateful for.  i think it was a wise choice and it definitely had an impact.  i recognize it now, and acknowledge my gratitude every single day.  even in the middle of a migraine or while sinking to the bottom of the well, i am grateful.

the word that chose me for 2021 appeared back in october.  when it presented itself, i thought it was wonderful.  i'll share that tomorrow.

i meant to be here more the past few weeks.  but, like always, the holidays are difficult.  and, of course, this year, even worse.  i chose to not participate in our family holiday meal.  my sil had been exposed to the virus, through work and i just couldn't bring myself to take a chance. (she has since been tested several times and all have come back negative)

so, i stayed home.  i did cook part of the meal though, so that i could have some of it.  (i can't eat anything prepared by someone else, yet).

now i'm ready to enjoy the rest of the year: nachos for dinner and maybe a tiny sip of eggnog with the nog near to midnight and working on my 2021 planner.

tomorrow is a new start.  not a stop, not an end.  but a curve around the wheel of time.

i hope you have a had as wonderful a holiday season as possible and that the new year ahead brings you all the joy and happiness you deserve.

thank you for being here with me and reading along.

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~

eventually...maybe...

it always amazes me how quickly the time goes by when i want to post.  i've been planning to post here several days and it just keeps getting lost in the day. 

but, now i'm here... 

there have been stunning sunsets and a few art journal days.  

there has been lots of little cleaning sprees and re-arranging of things to make room for other things.  i picked up a small poinsettia when i couldn't find a small table top tree i liked.  i just wasn't up to the whole decorating she-bang.  

there has been lots of little stitches on a secret project.  don't you just love when people say they are working on a secret project?  i always ask myself why, if it is a secret, mention it at all?  ha ha... oh well...

i plan to share it eventually...maybe...  :-)

friday i put on my brave and took an excursion to a newly discovered art supply store that is only about 10 minutes from my house.  it is an offshoot of the art supply store i've been driving 3 hours to shop at.

turns out they've been here for over a year... i was in heaven!  it was so easy to find and took no time to get there.  and they are all so nice and helpful! plus they have good discounts.  i still spent a lot, but that's okay.

i also managed to get myself a printer.  i haven't had one for over three years.  whenever i had anything that HAD to be printed, i'd email it to my neighbor and she'd print it out for me.  with the new year long art classes i'm taking this coming year, i'll need to print a whole lot of stuff.  so it was time.  i've already cleared out a spot to set it up.  

i'd been waiting until i had a proper desk, but i'm tired of waiting for that.

so, what have you all been up to?

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~
 

 

no truer words...

 

 

i found myself in my studio last night, playing with prompt listings from some of effy wild's journal jams from this summer.

it's been a long time since i've played with paint and paper.  i really had a wonderful time.

the top photo is my paint water after i finished the black and gold painting above.  i loved how the sparkles of the metallic gold paint shimmered in the water.

the blue painting is what came through today from another prompt list.  the words came to me when i was trying to figure out what it needed to finish it off.  

 ~ i may be broken but my pieces are all here - i can put myself together again

no truer words...

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~

on the list for today...

it's only about 3:15 in the afternoon as i sit and type these words.  it feels to me as if it should be closer to 3:15 in the morning. it's been overcast all day with little spots of rain here and there.

i went out this morning to search for the one and only xmas gift i am giving this year.  i checked the website of the shop and was assured they had two in stock.  of course, i drive to the other side of the nearest town and find that they have one on their shelf and it has been opened.

so, i'll be ordering that gift online.

i ran a few more errands and then came home feeling worse than i did before i left.

but...on the list for today was to do SOMETHING with the leftover turkey.  i mean it has been a week since i cooked it and i'm really getting tired of it.  i'd come across a recipe for a very simple turkey pot pie and thought i'd give it a try.  the topping in the recipe was with a biscuit mix, but i decided to try cornbread instead.

so, i deboned the turkey, tossed in the 2 other ingredients and made the topping.  it came out of the oven about 20 minutes ago.

it turned out pretty good.  in fact, i have a feeling i'll be making a chicken version of this later this winter.  i might add a few more seasonings, as the recipe called only for salt and pepper to taste. i added quite a bit of pepper and just a tiny amount of salt.

that is quite a small serving in the picture above, i just haven't had much appetite lately.  in fact, i didn't want to eat at all, but i needed to give it a try.  

i'll freeze some of it to have as freezer meal for later on.  and maybe i'll take some to my neighbor.

here's the original recipe:

Southern Biscuit Turkey Pot Pie

1 7oz bag (or 1 1/2 cup) of Southern Biscuit Formula L Biscuit Mix

1 10.50 oz can cream of chicken soup

1 15 oz can of peas & carrots (undrained)

1 1/2 cups shredded turkey

3/4 cup milk

Heat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a bowl, mix the soup, vegetables (undrained) and turkey.  Pour the mix into a 9-inch pie pan. (Tip: Add a dash of salt & pepper for taste)

In a small bowl, mix the Milk & Formula L Biscuit Mix.  Spread the batter over the turkey mixture.

Bake for 25-30 minutes until the top is golden brown.

 

That's all it takes.  

Now for my notes: like i said earlier, i didn't use the biscuit topping, i didn't have any on hand and didn't feel like going back out to the store. so, i used a box of jiffy cornbread mix.  if you use that you'll need 1/3 cup of milk instead of the 3/4 mentioned above and an egg.  i didn't add much salt as i figured the cream of chicken would be salty enough.  oh and i'm pretty sure i used a lot more than 1 1/2 cups of shredded turkey.  i just used all i had left and didn't bother to measure it out.

let me know if you try this recipe.  i'm putting the biscuit flour on my grocer list for next trip and will try a chicken pot pie with it.

well... i think that's it for today.  i've got the dehydrator going with some sliced clementines experiment i need to check on and i need to clean up the dishes from the pot pie.

until next time...

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~ 

 

 

 

a 10...

 i was looking for a photo for today's post and noticed that i take a lot of pictures of skies, clouds and trees.  well...they are some of my favorite things, so that makes a sort of sense.

i tried to do my tiny portion of holiday shopping this morning but it was a bust.  by the time i arrived home my headache level had hit 10.  so i've taken a pill and tried to rest a bit. 

so far, no relief.

i'll give it another hour, then take a second dose if i need to.

we're supposed to get rain the next two days, so i stocked up a few things to make chilli and turkey pot pie.  

well...the pain is taking the forefront, so i'll sign off now.

do you have a favorite winter comfort food?

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~

 

to my doom...

i am a hard learner.  when i say that, what i mean is that i learn things the hard way...always...

i seem to have to make the same mistakes over and over, ad infinitum, in order to learn something.  i don't know why this is.  i've thought on it (too much), written about it (so often), pulled cards for understanding (many times) and talked about it (much too much).  and yet...here i am...

several years ago, i posted about a lesson that took way too long to learn here.  the part in that many worded post that relates to today's post is lesson three (so you don't have to read the whole thing if you want a reference point). 

today, i signed up for a year long art course with a favorite artist.  one of the aspects is to join a facebook group that is specific to this course.  i haven't been on in months, probably not since early october, i think.  when i logged in, i had several messages and tons of notifications.  i went right to the messages and the first name i see is one that i haven't seen in three years.  that's right, a message from the very teacher of the above linked lesson three. - just to clarify, when i say teacher here, i'm not referring to the art teacher.

to say i was shocked would not be understating it.  i almost didn't read it.  i came thisclose to just closing it and ignoring it.  but i'm just too curious to do so.

it was one of those i think about you often, i've looked for you but couldn't find you, then my kid asks about you so i looked and here you are, i hope you are doing great, kind of messages. 

honestly...what the absolute F U C K!!!  

i broke.  i completely broke into gut wrenching, head pounding sobs.  serious ugly crying, the kind that has tears and snot running down your face and gasping to breathe because your nose is clogged and the sobs are so harsh on your throat that you can't get air.

my "friendship" with this person lasted a really long time and it was such a roller-coaster that it was exhausting.  but ...

she was my best friend.  i could (and did) talk to her about everything.  we could talk for hours and never run out of things to say.  we could sit quietly and just enjoy being in each other's company.  her kids were like my own.  they were a solace and joy to me when i found i couldn't have children.  they talked to me like i was a part of their life.  it was...family.

and each time she decided i was "too much" to deal with she would block me from her life.  which meant i lost them too. and each time it hurt a lot more. 

so three years ago, when it was obvious that she didn't really want me in their lives, i found a way to be okay with that.  i moved on.

yes, i think about them often.  they show up in dreams. i've even picked up the phone a couple of times to call and share something, only to realize that is not an option i have anymore. 

and that one little message brings every bit of pain back to the surface... it claws it's way up and makes me realize why i don't have friends anymore.  why i have no one to talk to about anything.  - to the point that i just don't talk to people.  

i can't take another loss like the one she delivered...

so i thought, and i thought.  i calmed down and stopped crying (although the tears are very, very close to the surface) and i responded to her message.  i left the door open and gave her my phone number if she (or the kids) wanted to call.  

i have a that icky feeling in my stomach.  the one that is a mixture of butterflies, nausea and fear.  did i make a mistake?  should i have just ignored it? should i have said, sorry don't want to talk to you?

i don't know. 

and there are the three little words that seem to be my doom.

i. don't. know.

i get so mixed up in my head that i no longer know what is the best thing to do.  i feel so far removed from my intuition that i never seem to know what is the best for me thing to do.

but she pulled in one of the kids.  she said he'd asked about me. and that sealed my fate.  i'd do anything for those kids.

so...

what will this mean?  will we become friends again?  will i even ever hear from any of them?  i have no idea.  but i'm going to have to figure out how to keep on with my life without anxiously anticipating what will happen.

(i found the message a few hours ago and i've already been back on fb 3 times to see if there was a response.)  that has to stop...

well...

we shall see, what comes of all this...

(those being the other three words i've found that lead to my doom - we shall see)

i think maybe putting this down helped a little

but i still want to cry...

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~  

 

 

december hellos...

this december first dawned cold and bright.  

i was up early helping deliver the light balls to various neighbors so they could be installed by the landscapers.

i drove around the neighborhood a little bit ago to see who has their lights up and working.  it's starting to look pretty.

i've had the fire going all day as i can't seem to get warm.  i miss wood fires, but the ease of gas logs is nice.  still...nothing beats the warmth and scent of a wood burning fire.

i can't seem to find a focus for this post. i've written and deleted multiple paragraphs.  so, i'll say happy winter.

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~

 

turkey day...

i've been in the kitchen for the past 5 days.  i've made the same amount of food i usually do for our turkey day meal, but for some reason it seems like 10 times that much.  i guess having to separate it all out into take-away containers and trying to make sure everyone gets enough.  it's doing my head in...

but now the turkey for my mum and i is in the oven and all i have to do is give her portion to her when it is done.  i have lots of food to eat, but no appetite.  that happens when i do a lot of cooking like i have this week.

our meal consists of turkey, ham, dressing with gravy, squash casserole, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole and rolls.  i'm skipping the green bean and sweet potato casseroles.  i have steamed asparagus and a plain sweet potato.  so...much...food...

i'll make a couple of freezer meals so as to not waste a bit.  

anyhoo...

i spent a little time going through some old photos this morning to see if i could find pictures from my favorite thanksgivings.  but no dice... i did find some pictures of the yard scenes my granddaddy used to make. the first photo is a picture of a picture.  he made all the decorations and put everything together.  my mum says i get my creative side from him.

the second photo is of a doozy of a sunset we had a few days ago. it was just gorgeous with all the different colors...

well...if you celebrate thanksgiving today, i hope you have a good one.  please remember to celebrate SAFELY!  

if it's just another thursday... have a great day!

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~ 

 

sunday ramble...

 

- how does time move so quickly?  i swear this week disappeared in the blink of an eye.  at least, it feels like it.

- i lost 2 1/2 days to migraineland...

- today was spent in the kitchen.  i vetoed our usual thanksgiving meal get-together and am doing take out for the family.  i started my cooking today.  two casseroles down, one more to go, plus the dressing/gravy, ham and a turkey breast for my mum and i.  my brother and sis-in-law decided to do their own turkey breast.

- i'm exhausted, but still have dishes to clean up.  i really don't like leaving dishes in the sink.

- i have two things i have to get done this week that cuts into my cooking time.  a doc appointment and getting my car tags renewed.

well...i guess that's all the news to share today.  ha ha!

hope you're all having a good week.

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~ 

re-purpose...

the other day, i was scrolling through my ig feed and found a picture of an old student desk at a local repurpose shop.  it reminded me that i used to have a desk like that.  

then i thought about how the desk and the table and chairs i played on as a child are just sitting in my mum's attic and have been for over 25 years.  

see, we held on to those things because i planned to use them for my children.  when i found out i couldn't have children, i planned to either give them to my brother or use them at my house for my nieces and nephews.  well...my brother and his wife never had kids.

so... in the attic they have been...

when i started thinking about them and how they were going to waste i thought they might make good plant stands.  i don't have nearly enough plant stands and they seem the perfect height (the table and chairs).  i'm not sure what i'll do with the desk yet.  

anyhoo...when my brother went to do my mum's grocery run this morning i had him bring them out of the attic.  they were in surprisingly good shape, the desk in particular.  

i'm going to work on cleaning them up and the table and chairs will get a coat of chalk paint.  i think they'll make cute plant stands.  

i really like when i can find new purposes for something that would end up in the landfill. 

in other news... i went out to run to the pharmacy and discovered that my car wouldn't start.  apparently driving less than 1300 miles in 16 months is hard on the battery.  ugh... the aaa guy said that i should drive at least 2-3 times a week.  but with these migraines, that is hard.

speaking of migraines...

i've already taken one dose of meds about 1 1/2 hours ago.  if it doesn't get better soon i'll take the emergency meds which will knock me out for several hours.

okay, time to get off the computer. 

what is the most interesting re-purpose you've made?

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~    

 

my beastie...

today is my baby boy's birthday.  he would have been 23.  wow...

he's been gone just over 10 years and i miss him like a limb...

he was my constant companion.  if i was anywhere in his vicinity, he had to be right there with me.  working in the galley kitchen in the little cottage with the blue door was an exercise in balance.  when he laid down he took up almost the entire floor.  

he didn't like rain or water.  i'd never met a labrador retriever who didn't like to swim, but he couldn't stand it.  but he loved snow.  just like me, if it was snowing he wanted to be out in it.  we would play in the snow whenever we could.  i'd toss snowballs and he'd catch them or we'd roll around in it...

it seems like he was always ill.  he constantly developed hematomas in his ear flaps (or as i called them, hematomatoes).  around about age 5 or 6 he developed diabetes and required constant care.  there was ketone test strips to be administered (that was fun... not), insulin shots twice a day, making sure he ate and drank plenty of water, the constant bathroom breaks...

it was a lot of work.  i was always amazed that he didn't seem to be bothered by the shots.  in fact, if i was distracted or forgot his injection, he would remind me by coming to me and sticking his nose under my arm.  and don't get me started on all the things he ate that he shouldn't have (corn cob surgery - twice!)

he was such a good boy and so very sweet.  he was a really big dog and i felt safe with him around.  he never did get trained not to bark or jump all the time.  he was hard to take for walks around others, as he wanted to meet and play with anyone we came across.  i know that was my fault as i didn't do the work to teach him manners.  

i so loved him though...

my dylan... my sweet wildman... my beastie...

i miss you baby...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~&~

 
 

 

in the deep...

it's been a very rough few days...

the well opened underneath me with no warning and i fell deep into the dark.

the photo above is from back in august and seems to fit how things look to me when i'm in the deep.  i can see a speck of light and a lightness to the dark, but it is very hard to climb up those walls and grasp that light.

i couldn't sleep last night, this seems to be happening a lot close to each new moon.  

this morning i was able to reach the top of the walls of the well.  so i paid a few bills, went to the mailbox and worked on cleaning the kitchen.

my new kindle arrived last weekend and i finally got it out of the box today and set up.  

so for now i'm out of the well, though i can see the edges trying to open below my feet.  

i've started reading magic lessons by alice hoffman.  so far, i really like it.  

well...i think that's it today...

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~ 

 

slinging paint and grungy fingers...

around the end of september, tam from willowing arts hosted a free taster session for her upcoming lifebook 2021 art series.  i joined up and watched all the sessions.

above are the results of a few of the sessions that i really enjoyed.  i was pretty pleased with the results and had fun, which is the most important part to me.

i haven't actually made any art in a while, since not long after that workshop finished.  well, maybe that isn't true.  i did participate in inktober this year, but i didn't post the drawings anywhere.  i might share a few of them here later.

i do miss slinging paint around and getting my fingers grungy.  here's to hoping i can get myself in the studio soon...

 

do you participate in any online art classes?  i'd love to hear about them...

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~ 

 

game day blahs...

 

 sunday used to be a big day in my household during football season.  a few years ago i started to lose my interest in it.

last year i really wasn't enjoying it and this year i have been completely ambivalent.

growing up, football and basketball season were seriously big deals.  we watched as many games as possible, not just those of our favorite teams.  now... well, now... i'm just over it.

i have suprised myself the past two weeks by actually watching the steelers games and even put on my usual jersey for last weeks and this weeks games.  but still...my enjoyment just isn't there...

i don't know if i'll keep watching or if i'll give it up all together, but it is weird not feeling my usual enthusiasm.

well...i'm off to see if i can find my wi-fi password so i can set up my new kindle...

are you a sports fan?  has this odd and crazy year affected your enjoyment of sports?

thanks for reading...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~

ps...thanks to magaly for pointing out my typo in my last post's title...i never even noticed! :-)

a good day...

today is a good day...

i wasn't sure we would hear results today and was anticipating it would take longer...

but...

the end is nigh for the embarrassment that has been the so-called leader of this country for the last four years...

i've seen the coverage of all the people in the streets, celebrating...

i hope they are all wearing masks...

and i would caution everyone that we need to be careful...

the followers of the current regime are a lot of the time gun-toting bullies...

i'm worried those guns may be used, since they aren't getting their way...

so - celebrate, yes.  but be safe, remember that covid is still a threat and so is the regime.  

there is a lot to fix in this country and i'm hopeful that we are headed in the right direction...

so for now, let's celebrate cautiously, let's not gloat, let's be the calm in the storm and help lead this country to where it should have always been...

love, kisses & magical wishes...

friday favorites: tv shows...

today seemed like a good day to start a new series called friday favorites, where i share various favorite things... this edition features tv shows.

i've really been missing my favorite tv shows since covid started interrupting everything.  a lot of last season's shows never finished out their series and now it is november and new episodes are just starting to show.

i'm going to break this up into groupings by age...

so here we go...

when i was a little kid, say before the age of 10, my favorite shows were

 

the addams family

 

the munsters

 

little house on the prairie

the waltons

i know...that's quite a combination, huh?

i also loved star trek, scooby doo and tom & jerry cartoons.

from age 10 to 20...

the dukes of hazard (i had such a crush on John Schneider) - what can i say, i'm a southern girl...

 

the young riders (Josh Brolin...sigh...)

 

i also really enjoyed mork & mindy and three's company...

i think i'll stop there today... i'll save adulthood for later...

 

did you have any favorite tv shows as a kid?

love, kisses & magical wishes...

~*~