03 November 2015
I'll apologize in advance for the craziness of this post. I have brain babble today. Everything I see, think, and hear is confusing to me. It happens sometimes when the headaches are at their worst.
Words get jumbled, sounds get muddled. It can last minutes or hours. Once or twice it has lasted for a couple of days. I'm hoping this bout will pass soon. I just have to sit or go to sleep for a while.
I blame the medications I had to take when I first started seeking treatment back in 2010. I was on so many medications and they were changed so often that I developed more problems. One of the worst is tremors in my hands. Sometimes they shake so badly that I can't hold anything. Even at the best, there is a fine tremor in them that makes it hard when I'm painting or drawing small details. I get very frustrated, but I'm learning to keep trying.
For AEDM, I spent some time painting these clay pieces I made a few weeks ago. I've still a little ways to go, but it was all I could do today.
On this mornings walk, I followed the path I took yesterday. There are two bridges on this route. The first goes over the Deep River and the second over a swampy area that leaks off the river. Yesterday when I crossed that first bridge, I felt a bit nauseous and jittery. I turned back around and headed back at the end of that bridge and felt the same feelings as I crossed it. I chalked it up to having not walked in a day or two and my footing being slick from the rain and fallen leaves.
Today I went back the same route and when I hit that first step on the bridge, the nausea and jittery feelings returned. As soon as I stepped off the other end, the feelings went away. I kept going and went on across the second bridge.
Everything felt fine. No jitters, no nausea. I turned back to head home and as soon as my foot hit that first bridge, the feelings returned. Once again, as soon as I stepped off the bridge, the feelings went away. My intuition is telling me that someone drowned at that spot in the river. I feel it was from a very long time ago. Just to be sure, I did a cursory online search for drownings in Deep River, but found nothing. I've learned over many years that I have to listen when my intuition speaks like that. Oh my, that one bridge is going to give me trouble. I may have to change my route again.
thanks for stopping by!
love & blessings
ps...the photo is of the second bridge, not the trouble bridge.