The past week has been a struggle for me. Between the stress of my workdays, a mystery foot ailment (that the doctor cannot diagnose) and a landscaping nightmare, I was glad to see the end of the week. I am very hopeful that having tomorrow off for the holiday, will start the week off well and that it continues on throughout the rest of it.
The weather has turned back to hot days (80+) and coolish nights (65+) so I've continued to leave the windows open. It is fascinating to me how nature strives to be heard over the noise of the city. Or am I just listening harder for it? The cicadas are singing so loudly..the birds of the neighborhood chirping their songs. While working in the garden today, I heard a bird call that I did not recognize. It almost sounded like a whippoorwill, but I don't think that they are native to our area. I love the sounds of nature...
Do you believe in life lessons?
I believe that we are here for a purpose, that each of us have goals, if you will, to accomplish before we move on to the next life. I believe that if we learn our lessons we can accomplish these goals and move on to other lessons in the next life. In the course of each life, we have many life lessons to learn and they can be very hard to recognize.
This past week, I think that I finally learned one of my lessons for this lifetime.
I have a problem with neglect. I will start a project {hello, ravelry sidebar anyone?;-)}, and it will sit untended until it is too late to fix or mend or help it. This happens with most everything in my life.
First, is my health (I foolishly eat and drink things that a diabetic should never ingest), when I was on prescription medications for various issues, I'd forget to take them most of the time. I stopped exercising and have started gaining weight again. So I am neglecting myself, physically.
My house is next, as it is usually quite the mess. I rarely dust or sweep the floors, I'd rather have hot pokers stuck in my eyes than clean the bathroom on most days and keeping the kitchen and laundry up to date has not been my strong suit either. I'm a bit of a pack rat and will try to keep anything and everything that comes my way. Truthfully, the best thing about the work we did on the house this summer was that I was forced to make myself de-clutter and dispense with so much excess.
My fur children... well they are actually very well taken care of. The only thing that I neglect with them is the litter box sometimes, otherwise they are very well provided for and loved.
My art is neglected on a daily basis. I start knitting projects, but never finish them. I start art projects but never finish them. I have so many ideas and creations floating around in my head that I never do anything with... neglect...
My craft... I often ignore sabbats and esbats, forget to put spells in my book of shadows, and rarely do tarot readings anymore. I sorely neglect my spiritual side and have realized that when it is the most neglected, that is when the migraines come in and refuse to leave. I hardly ever listen to my intuition anymore...neglect...
Gardening is one of my most favorite things. I enjoy more than almost anything, planting, tending and watching grow the veggies, flowers and herbs that I plant. And yet... I neglect them too. I use the heat of the summer as an excuse to let the yard go and not get it mowed for three weeks. Then when the grass is as high as my knees, I'll call someone in and have them mow it. I've done this twice now - once either last summer or the one before and last week.
Here is where the life lesson comes into play... the previous time I had someone come and mow for me, they mowed down a 3ft tall blooming hydrangea that my stepmum had given me (it still hasn't grown back) and I was extremely upset. Last week, the landscaper I hired to mow the YARD...went into every flower/herb bed that I have and MOWED THEM DOWN. I lost echineca, job's tears, mint, nettle, hyssop, ANOTHER HYDRANGEA, angelica, black-eyed susans (these were blooming), daisies, spiderwort (also blooming). The only thing he didn't mow down, was the Queen Cleome.
I was devastated when I came home from work and saw what had happened. It made me very ill when I realized I paid him EXTRA and he did this. And the worst part about it was that I had only myself to blame. The flower beds were very weedy so I'm sure to someone it might look like grass to be mowed, but if you have to move landscape fencing to get to it, wouldn't you think that it was not to be touched? All that aside, my intuition that morning told me to call him and let him know what areas not to touch. But I NEGLECTED to make that call...
After this discovery, I called my a good friend and told her about it. I told her about what had happened before and how I knew there must be a lesson in it, but wasn't sure what it was. We continued to talk and suddenly I knew. The lesson is neglect. I must cease being neglectful in my life. I must cease neglecting the things that mean the most to me.
Ever since October of 2004, I have been very neglectful of my life in every fashion. I realized while talking to my friend that I used the illness as an excuse to not care about things. Why should I continue researching my family history (something that for over ten years was a constant joy to me) when I had no one to share it with and to pass it on? Why should I care if I'm overweight, no man would want me anyway, if I can't give them children? Why should I take care of my house, keep things up, if no one ever comes over anyway? Can you see the pattern? I can... and I truly believe this lesson has been learned.
Now that I have recognized this pattern, this lesson... I am working on being present and attentive to every aspect of my life. I have cleaned my house, prepped the garden for fall planting, spent extra time with my fur babies and tried to pay more attention to my health and eating. It is just a start, but at least it IS a start. I think, no, I hope this lesson has been learned.
blessings
~*~
06 September 2009
02 September 2009
It is... September...
The air is cool, the windows are open...
I love this time of year. Fall is really approaching and even though the temperatures during the day are heading back up into the 80's, at night, it is a very cool 60's. The moon will be full in two days... mercury retrograde is back in four...topsy turvy, turvy topsy...
I've hurt my foot (the doctor can't tell me exactly what is wrong) but it is keeping me from the garden. I'm going to try to get out there this weekend, even if I'm hobbling. I have someone coming to mow tomorrow or Friday, so I'll only have to weed... weed... weed... weed...
I seem to have the most fertile soil in the county. I can't keep the weeds away.
I've only one pumpkin left... the littlest rotted out. The big one seems to still be safe though. I'll find out for certain this weekend. I'm holding out until at least the first week in October to harvest it. I've not done very well on my vegetable goals this summer. I had wanted to really eat as much as I could that came from my own garden... but honestly, most of it has either been frozen, or gone bad before I could eat it. Next year, I WILL do better.
I'm getting ready to plant some fall/winter crops. I want to plant some more garlic, some collards and maybe some kale.
Last night I dreamed about animals. Bears, deer, and something that looked like cougar, but the eyes and horns were different. The biggest thing I remembered was that I was upset that I didn't have my camera. This morning, I made sure to put my camera in my bag and keep it with me all day. I never saw any unusual animals, but I will continue to keep it with me.
Sorry this is just a bunch of ramblings tonight. My brain is mushy and I'm very tired.
Tomorrow night is the official start of football season, yet another sign that fall is here. I'm going to Charlotte to see the Panthers and Steelers. Hopefully this trip will be much better than the last one.
I'm going to head outside now and see if I can get a few moon photos (and enjoy this beautiful cool weather).
Blessings
~*~
I love this time of year. Fall is really approaching and even though the temperatures during the day are heading back up into the 80's, at night, it is a very cool 60's. The moon will be full in two days... mercury retrograde is back in four...topsy turvy, turvy topsy...
I've hurt my foot (the doctor can't tell me exactly what is wrong) but it is keeping me from the garden. I'm going to try to get out there this weekend, even if I'm hobbling. I have someone coming to mow tomorrow or Friday, so I'll only have to weed... weed... weed... weed...
I seem to have the most fertile soil in the county. I can't keep the weeds away.
I've only one pumpkin left... the littlest rotted out. The big one seems to still be safe though. I'll find out for certain this weekend. I'm holding out until at least the first week in October to harvest it. I've not done very well on my vegetable goals this summer. I had wanted to really eat as much as I could that came from my own garden... but honestly, most of it has either been frozen, or gone bad before I could eat it. Next year, I WILL do better.
I'm getting ready to plant some fall/winter crops. I want to plant some more garlic, some collards and maybe some kale.
Last night I dreamed about animals. Bears, deer, and something that looked like cougar, but the eyes and horns were different. The biggest thing I remembered was that I was upset that I didn't have my camera. This morning, I made sure to put my camera in my bag and keep it with me all day. I never saw any unusual animals, but I will continue to keep it with me.
Sorry this is just a bunch of ramblings tonight. My brain is mushy and I'm very tired.
Tomorrow night is the official start of football season, yet another sign that fall is here. I'm going to Charlotte to see the Panthers and Steelers. Hopefully this trip will be much better than the last one.
I'm going to head outside now and see if I can get a few moon photos (and enjoy this beautiful cool weather).
Blessings
~*~
17 August 2009
autumn
I don't know about you...but I am ready for the arrival of autumn. It has been so hot lately, I hibernate in my house with the air conditioning blasting. I prefer the fresh air blowing through my open windows, but with the heat... not gonna happen.
I feel like autumn is coming soon. Not just because September is around the corner, but because I can feel a change in the air. It feels thinner and a little lighter. Are you ready for autumn? Ready for the long hot days of summer to be over?
My garden is ready for autumn too. Pumpkins are growing, tomatoes are plentiful, as well as the bell peppers, eggplant and jalapenos. I really hope to have at least one pumpkin from my garden for Halloween.
Maybe this one...
or this one...
As I was picking tomatoes tonight, I saw the prettiest sunset ... it was so lovely I had to run to the house and grab the camera. While I was out, I took he photos of the pumpkins.
Know’st thou not at the fall of the leaf
How the heart feels a languid grief
Laid on it for a covering,
And how sleep seems a goodly thing
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?
And how the swift beat of the brain
Falters because it is in vain,
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf
Knowest thou not? and how the chief
Of joys seems—not to suffer pain?
Know’st thou not at the fall of the leaf
How the soul feels like a dried sheaf
Bound up at length for harvesting,
And how death seems a comely thing
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?
Autumn Song
Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1883)
blessings
~*~
I feel like autumn is coming soon. Not just because September is around the corner, but because I can feel a change in the air. It feels thinner and a little lighter. Are you ready for autumn? Ready for the long hot days of summer to be over?
My garden is ready for autumn too. Pumpkins are growing, tomatoes are plentiful, as well as the bell peppers, eggplant and jalapenos. I really hope to have at least one pumpkin from my garden for Halloween.
Maybe this one...
or this one...
As I was picking tomatoes tonight, I saw the prettiest sunset ... it was so lovely I had to run to the house and grab the camera. While I was out, I took he photos of the pumpkins.
Know’st thou not at the fall of the leaf
How the heart feels a languid grief
Laid on it for a covering,
And how sleep seems a goodly thing
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?
And how the swift beat of the brain
Falters because it is in vain,
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf
Knowest thou not? and how the chief
Of joys seems—not to suffer pain?
Know’st thou not at the fall of the leaf
How the soul feels like a dried sheaf
Bound up at length for harvesting,
And how death seems a comely thing
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?
Autumn Song
Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1883)
blessings
~*~
16 August 2009
adventures in random...
Over the summer I embarked on several new adventures. The biggest was the remodeling at my home. Another big one was participating in a "Shop Local Fair". The was quite an adventure for me on several levels.
One, I don't like crowds (I have serious social anxiety issues).
Two, I have never vended before and wasn't really sure what I was doing.
Three, I didn't give myself much time to prepare items to sell.
There was no way I was backing out of this, even though every fiber of my being was screaming at me to stay home and bury my head under the pillows. I made myself go and I'm really glad that I did. I had a good time and even sold a few items. :-)
It wasn't nearly as packed as I'd expected it to be. I was in a good mostly shaded spot on the patio and the vendors that were around me were very nice. I had taken to card tables to use but realized that I only needed one for the things that I had. So, I set up my table and proceeded to spend the day hanging out, meeting people and knitting.
The items I was offering were hand-knit scarves (which in July really isn't something people are looking for), beaded bracelets and spirit catchers.
There is another fair planned for November. I'm thinking I might participate again, this time I would have more scarves made and certainly that would be good in November.
I have several other things I want to make, many ideas floating about in my head. It is mostly a matter of sitting down and doing them. I am trying so many different things trying to find the one that I'm really good at. There has to be something...
Another adventure is that I went to a club a few weeks ago and saw my friends band play. I stayed the whole time and didn't get in until after 2am. I had a blast despite the cigarette smoke and all the drunks. I'm hoping to go again soon to see them perform.
The garden is doing nicely. I've had tons of tomatoes, both cheery and big boy. I've also had a good bit of eggplant, bell peppers and jalapenos. I've had several little pumpkins that ended up rotting on the vine, but right now I have two very nice sized ones that are still hanging in there. I am so excited about that. I'll try to get a photo next time I am in the garden.
The landscapers came while I was away from the blog and cleaned up a lot in my jungle. It looks so much nicer. Now I just have to figure out how to get rid of most of the ivy with using chemicals.
I have so many ideas for the garden. I can't wait for the weather to turn cooler so I can get back out there working. I just can't work when the temps are over 80...I don't last five minutes.
I'm off now, I need to check the laundry, and get ready to go out. I'm meeting Mum at one of the shops to hunt the sales for cushions for the patio furniture. This is the time to buy and I know the ones I have right now will not last through next summer.
Have a wonderful Sunday...
Blessings
~*~
One, I don't like crowds (I have serious social anxiety issues).
Two, I have never vended before and wasn't really sure what I was doing.
Three, I didn't give myself much time to prepare items to sell.
There was no way I was backing out of this, even though every fiber of my being was screaming at me to stay home and bury my head under the pillows. I made myself go and I'm really glad that I did. I had a good time and even sold a few items. :-)
It wasn't nearly as packed as I'd expected it to be. I was in a good mostly shaded spot on the patio and the vendors that were around me were very nice. I had taken to card tables to use but realized that I only needed one for the things that I had. So, I set up my table and proceeded to spend the day hanging out, meeting people and knitting.
The items I was offering were hand-knit scarves (which in July really isn't something people are looking for), beaded bracelets and spirit catchers.
There is another fair planned for November. I'm thinking I might participate again, this time I would have more scarves made and certainly that would be good in November.
I have several other things I want to make, many ideas floating about in my head. It is mostly a matter of sitting down and doing them. I am trying so many different things trying to find the one that I'm really good at. There has to be something...
Another adventure is that I went to a club a few weeks ago and saw my friends band play. I stayed the whole time and didn't get in until after 2am. I had a blast despite the cigarette smoke and all the drunks. I'm hoping to go again soon to see them perform.
The garden is doing nicely. I've had tons of tomatoes, both cheery and big boy. I've also had a good bit of eggplant, bell peppers and jalapenos. I've had several little pumpkins that ended up rotting on the vine, but right now I have two very nice sized ones that are still hanging in there. I am so excited about that. I'll try to get a photo next time I am in the garden.
The landscapers came while I was away from the blog and cleaned up a lot in my jungle. It looks so much nicer. Now I just have to figure out how to get rid of most of the ivy with using chemicals.
I have so many ideas for the garden. I can't wait for the weather to turn cooler so I can get back out there working. I just can't work when the temps are over 80...I don't last five minutes.
I'm off now, I need to check the laundry, and get ready to go out. I'm meeting Mum at one of the shops to hunt the sales for cushions for the patio furniture. This is the time to buy and I know the ones I have right now will not last through next summer.
Have a wonderful Sunday...
Blessings
~*~
15 August 2009
abandonment
Does it feel like I've abandoned my blog? It does to me, too. But I swear it wasn't intentional. The time has just flown by...one minute it was the middle of June and then I turned around and it is the middle of august. How did that happen? I guess there was just so much going on that I couldn't keep up. I'm still trying to catch up with myself. Ugh.
So I have lots to share, lots of pictures. I will probably not try to fit it all in on this post. It would be wise to spread it out a bit. So I'll start with the remodel. They finished the main projects on time and there was just a few little things that they had to come back and do after I'd moved home and brought the babies home. Boy were they happy to get home. I think they thought I'd abandoned them.
Anyway, in the below photo you can see the new paint and the old floors...
And the next photo is what the floors look like after refinishing...
The top part is the breakfast room/kitchen floor (heart of pine wide plank) and the bottom part is either white ash or oak (the floor guy wasn't sure). I think they both turned out beautifully.
The other big change...the bath...
before...
...after...
Of course there was lots more done, but no real photos that would show the changes. I'm just happy to be home. I am unpacked for the most part. I still have my studio to contend with and will begin working on that next week. I had shelving hung in the closet of that room so that I would have a nice storage space for my supplies.
Oh and to help protect my floors, I bought Dylan a huge,cushy bed for him to lay on instead of him laying on the floors...
money well spent, huh?
I'm off now... I'm getting my hair done in about an hour and still have to decide on the style/color. I'm torn between having it dyed black or red. I've been a red head before (and my natural color has bits of red in it) but I've never had black hair. Hard decisions...
Have a wonderful Saturday...
Blessings
~*~
PS..I've missed you! :-)
So I have lots to share, lots of pictures. I will probably not try to fit it all in on this post. It would be wise to spread it out a bit. So I'll start with the remodel. They finished the main projects on time and there was just a few little things that they had to come back and do after I'd moved home and brought the babies home. Boy were they happy to get home. I think they thought I'd abandoned them.
Anyway, in the below photo you can see the new paint and the old floors...
And the next photo is what the floors look like after refinishing...
The top part is the breakfast room/kitchen floor (heart of pine wide plank) and the bottom part is either white ash or oak (the floor guy wasn't sure). I think they both turned out beautifully.
The other big change...the bath...
before...
...after...
Of course there was lots more done, but no real photos that would show the changes. I'm just happy to be home. I am unpacked for the most part. I still have my studio to contend with and will begin working on that next week. I had shelving hung in the closet of that room so that I would have a nice storage space for my supplies.
Oh and to help protect my floors, I bought Dylan a huge,cushy bed for him to lay on instead of him laying on the floors...
money well spent, huh?
I'm off now... I'm getting my hair done in about an hour and still have to decide on the style/color. I'm torn between having it dyed black or red. I've been a red head before (and my natural color has bits of red in it) but I've never had black hair. Hard decisions...
Have a wonderful Saturday...
Blessings
~*~
PS..I've missed you! :-)
17 July 2009
Quickie
I'm home...moved back in... still unpacking a little and still have a few ongoing projects from the big work. But life is slowly returning to normal. I have one more week of craziness then things should slow down to where I can get back to blogging and reading blogs regularly. Next week is crazy busy at work and also I'm getting ready for our Shop Local Fair that is next Saturday. (I'm a vendor and have a lot to do to prepare.)
Blessings
~*~
Blessings
~*~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)