i feel myself slipping
under the shadows, under the grey
of what? i have no idea...
there is so much
pain, anger, fear and uncertainty
today is the first day out since sunday
this causes more anxiety, more worry...
will they forgive me for not being there,
will they let me come back? can i make myself go back?
i feel like i'm on a runaway roller-coaster
one that has no breaks, no stops, it just spins...
round and round... will it ever stop?
i don't know who to talk to, where to go, what to do anymore
one minute, i want to just disappear
the next, cry out for help
by the time i make up my mind to do one or the other
my mind changes...again, so i have to start trying to figure it out
all over again...