05 November 2009

sinking again...

i feel myself slipping

back down

under the shadows, under the grey

i'm afraid

of what? i have no idea...

there is so much

pain, anger, fear and uncertainty

today is the first day out since sunday

this causes more anxiety, more worry...

will they forgive me for not being there,

will they let me come back? can i make myself go back?

i feel like i'm on a runaway roller-coaster

one that has no breaks, no stops, it just spins...

round and round... will it ever stop?

i don't know who to talk to, where to go, what to do anymore

one minute, i want to just disappear

the next, cry out for help

by the time i make up my mind to do one or the other

my mind changes...again, so i have to start trying to figure it out

all over again...


Rue said...

Hang in there girl. One day at a time. Go out for a walk. Listen to some different music. Call one person. Just one thing. You will feel better.

Lorna said...

sorry you're feeling so down; I think you got good advice from rue.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

hey...maybe you should write to me on my email.


Blue Moon said...

Rue is right, change some of the patterns with just one small thing different. Call someone you like who you have not talked to in a while. Remember the things you hold dear and magical, and let light enter into some of the dark corners.

Mother's Moon's Message said...

sorry to hear you are down, yet it looks like you have good friends with good counsel each... offering an ear, suggesting some things to give you a different pepspective... Take advantage of those little moments... they can do wonders for you... enjoy the outdoors. something you love, something that makes you smaile... no matter how small.... and like jaz.. feel free to email me anytime... 11raelin11@gmail.com