making decisions

As I mentioned in my last post, I took a ride on Sunday up to the Virginia mountains to look at that house again. I had an appointment and ended up arriving about fifty minutes early. I sat in my car in the parking lot of the little 200+ year old church that is at the corner of the road the house is on. I had forgotten to pack a book in my purse, I always keep a book in my purse, but had my sketch pad and colored pencils so I did a few sketches of some of the trees that were there in the churchyard. I took a couple of pictures of some ostrich that were on the farm across the street, not good photos though.

When the time came, I drove down the road to the house and as I crossed onto the property I immediately felt the peace and calm that I had felt over a year ago when I'd been to see it with my mum. So many things were flying across my mind, that I wouldn't know where to begin to describe it. I met the realtor there and we went through the house together. This time, the owners had prepared for us to come and had left the property. (Last time, they claimed they didn't get the message about the appointment but did show us around some.)

I remembered every detail of the house and property, immediately noting changes that I noticed they had made. It was so wonderful to be there. The agent and I stayed for almost the entire hour, talking about the property, about homes like this she had owned in the past, things that we need to do if I make an offer, etc.

When I left, drove the route that I thought was best, to my office in an effort to verify what the drive would be like if I was to do it twice a day, five days a week. (It turned out to be a one hour and twenty minute drive from driveway to driveway.)

As I drove, I tried to focus on what I'd felt while I was there, listening carefully to my intuition and trying to remember that it never guides me wrong. What I realized is that it is exactly where I belong. All the doubts that I'd had about it; the commute, being so far from family and friends, being alone in the country, all the things I will need to learn about in order to survive living in the country...all those doubts went away. I know that is where I am meant to be. As I told the realtor, there just are not words to describe how much I love that place.

We've started the process of making an offer. Getting all the paperwork, property disclosures, prices all that tedious and detailed information. I'm talking with two different lenders about getting a loan and of course, my mum now says that she wasn't planning on helping me as much as we have learned she would need to with the down payment. I am not letting that distract me. I know she will come through in the end. She had several questions about the contract offer and property disclosures (she will have to co-sign in order for me to do this so her name has to be on all paperwork) and I spent today getting those answers. I discussed them with her and she felt better, she'd asked me to talk to my local realtor and that lovely woman has been able to soothe mum's fears.

So, I'm going for it. I am making an offer and am going to do everything in my power to make this work. No more doubts, no more worry. I belong there.

My local realtor, this fabulous woman who has put up with me for nine years and been to all kinds of different places with me, asked me today, "When you left, did you love it as much as when you saw it the first time, or did you pick it apart and look for things that were wrong?" My answer was that I loved it more than the first time I saw it.

She says that means it is the right place for me. I believe that.

~*~