a favorite thing - books...

I love books.  I have always loved books.  When I was little, I was most always hiding somewhere with a book, avoiding my mean (and not so mean) cousins, or doing my chores.  I loved to read.  I have always loved to read, to get lost in the worlds that words can create.  That is my happy place.

And while I do very much like my e-reader, I really prefer to hold a book in my hand, to be able to turn the page, to feel the paper.

Before I became so ill that I couldn't work, any money I had after paying the mortgage and taking care of my babies (3 cats, 1 dog) was spent on books.  I was a regular at the big box book store that came in and replaced my local small book shops.  I had stacks of books everywhere, bookcases lining just about every room in the house with books shoved and packed in as tight as I could.  

When I was taken out of work, my income went to nothing (literally for 60 days no income) then to less than half of what I'd been receiving, so book buying had to stop.  I've had a library card since I was seven years old and began to use it with great frequency as reading was the only thing keeping me alive.  Seriously, it was the only thing I could do, other than sleep, that did not exacerbate my headaches.  Therefore, reading became my lifeline.  I was making trips to the library at least twice a week and would pick up as many as I could possibly get my hands on.  I had to start carrying a couple of tote bags so I could get them all in one trip.  

Then an odd thing happened.  I started noticing that the smells of the books was making me sick to my stomach.  The paper started to look gross and scary. Odd stains seemed to grow as I noticed them, dead bugs mushed between pages, what looked like dried mucus sometimes.  After a while, I stopped being able to handle the library books.

Enter the e-reader.  It saved my sanity, if not my life.  I could download lots of books and read them without the heebie-jeebies the library books were giving me.  Plus, I could borrow from a state-wide library, not just my local one.  

I have no idea how many books I've read since I got sick. I have no idea how many books I've given away during various moves.  I have no idea how many books I'd read before I got sick.  

What I do know is that for the past several years, reading has become very difficult.  Where I could read a book in a day, now it takes two or three at the least, sometimes much longer.  Words swim on the pages and jump around as if they were dancers on a stage.  I read a line or paragraph and as I move to the next, I realize I have no idea what I just read and must go back and start again.

The last time I saw my neurologist, it had mostly just started (a few months prior) and I mentioned it to him.  He said it was to be expected, that with the type of pain I have and the intractability of managing it, my cognitive functions would decrease more rapidly than if I wasn't sick.  

That was almost two years ago, and it has become much worse.  But, I still love books and I still love reading.  So I'll take my time and keep going.

I'm back to buying books again.  Not a lot, mostly just things I know I'll love from authors I'm addicted to.  Although, I recently ordered a recently released book online that I have been waiting to read for about two years and was sorely disappointed.  I'd not been able to get it from the digital library and had waited and waited, but decided to just go ahead.  Such a disappointment!  That one will be headed to the stack for the used book store.

Since I love books, and they are one of my favorite things, I'm thinking about doing some book reviews from time to time.  If I remember correctly, I did a couple many years ago when I was blogging heavily and I miss doing them.  I think it will encourage me to read a little more.  Over the last year, I've mostly been re-reading books, over and over, as it seemed easier and I didn't have to focus as hard.  But I miss reading different stories, finding new authors.  

I'll warn you now, my reading taste is very eclectic.  Who knows what I'll come up with to review.  :-)

So what are you reading lately?

thanks for stopping in for a read...
love & blessings
~*~

ps...I've tried audiobooks, but the whole sound - headache thing just doesn't work for me, plus I couldn't get past the woman trying to imitate an old man's voice in the one I tried.  Maybe I'll try another, it would be nice to be able to sketch or knit while listening.  :-)