02 January 2013

It's all in how you look at it...

The past few years, I've learned not to make resolutions.  Failing to live up to them, always causes such anguish and self recrimination.  Putting myself down is not something I'm willing to do anymore.

I woke late yesterday, but spent a good half hour on my Wii Fit, doing yoga, strength & balance exercises.  I felt really good about that.  I did well with my eating choices too, until the evening.  For the past several months I've been seriously examining my food choices.  I'm tired of all the junk that I eat.  I want healthy things, actual Food to pass these lips.  I am however a major sugar addict and getting off the sugar train is going to take a lot of strength of will, which seems to be in short supply right now.  I suppose I'm going to have to purge my home of all the "temptations" that lie in the cupboards.

I don't know if it was the exercise or the new book I started reading last night, but insomnia decided to share the bed with me.  It was after 4am before I was able to sleep.  I finally woke, close to noon, with my head completely engulfed in pain.  This is a normal course for me (the head pain - the insomnia hasn't visited in months).  Some days I can move through it and others not so much.  So, today my brain is like the photo above - a jumbled mass of light and dark.

Living with constant pain is very wearying.  It's been over two years since I was taken out of work.  Several more years prior since I've had a day without a spot of pain.  Days like this would normally bring me down emotionally.  I would fall back into a dark hole of depression that would linger and seem to exacerbate the headaches.  I'm choosing to look at today a little differently.

2012 showed me that life is all about how you look at the things that happen, or don't happen as the case may be.

Yes, I did good things yesterday.  Yes, I'd wanted to continue that today as well.  But my body has different ideas for today.  I pushed myself extremely hard during December.  Maybe it is time that I  slow down again and take some time to pay attention to my body.  I don't feel bad for not doing any exercise today.  I don't feel bad (emotionally) for the soda I'm sipping while I write this post.  I know that drinking it will make me feel physically bad, though.  (I know this and am still drinking it...go figure!) 

2013 is going to be a year of change for me.  I still feel like I'm on the right track, even without the stretches today.  :-)

How do you make big changes when needed?  Have any of you (if anyone still visits here) stepped or jumped off the sugar train?  I'd love to hear how you did it.



Susan said...

I have a hard time with eating no sugar, though I certainly think it's a good idea not to eat too much sugar. I try to be thoughtful and put things in perspective. If a little sugar will make me more likely to eat something that is very nutritious, then I'd rather eat it than deny myself and possibly make a poor nutritional choice based on sugar content alone. Ironically, I do not care for most naturally sweet foods because they are too sweet for me. I guess it all depends on our individual palates. I hope that you have a wonderful new 2013!

Carmen said...

I love sweets, too! I do notice that sugar will make me feel bad. Like you, I've been trying to put real food into my body and it makes me feel really good. Give yourself a small treat now and then. I think that total restriction can lead to a binge. For me, just feeling better tends to keep me motivated. Best of luck in the new year! :-)

Bobbypin Bandit said...

Happy New Year, Laura!

I suffer from bouts of insomnia every now and again, so I feel you there. I am happy you are embracing the change that life brings. Being adaptable can always be a good thing.

I am not a sugar person, I am a salt person. I love anything salty. I actually did a detox cleanse in September and just cut out the high salt content cold turkey. The fact that I felt so good, was enough to make up for the fact that I wasn't allowed to eat high amounts of salt. I think it's easier if you gently subtract, because quitting everything cold turkey, like I did, was a little crazy.

I wish you the best for the coming year and look forward to reading the stories you share here.

Illustrated Ink said...

Happy New Year, Laura! It was a joy to have you come by my blog, I've been gone so long, your visit was greatly appreciated. :) Good for you for not abusing yourself for not following your plan everyday. I do the same thing to myself, and I have to turn off my self-criticism and cut myself some slack. You started out strong, and with the pain obstacles you face, one can only handle so much at once. While it's cliche, it's true - baby steps and self love are key. Be kind to you, our inner voices can be so mean. I also believe that change begins with the mind, and on some level we manifest our emotions and thoughts into the physical. I have been on a sugar free, gluten free, and dairy free plan since November. Oh yes, I physically feel better, but still have mad cravings for a cold soda or cupcake. I sometimes wonder if I will ever be completely free of the craving? Hey, at least we are fighting the sugar beast! ;)

Victoria said...

Hello friend..hugs..and happy new year! Keep spirited..you can do it! One thing that can change everything (and take the pressure off I find)..is to even just add ONE major good change , so even one really good food choice or meal..and as your body begins to love that and feel good..it slowly bounces out all the bad stuff eventually..because your body begins to naturally want to feel good and it won't want the other stuff. For me..having had so many food allergies and intolerances all my life..I am not able to eat like everyone else and that's ok! I have had to have a simple diet and find balance and harmony in that..being ill is no fun..i can sympathise..but finally being healthy is the best gift! hope you find what brings you total bliss and health and harmony..and you will!

Anonymous said...

Hi and Happy New Year. :)
I agree that new year resolutions often set us up for feelings of failure--it's so much to live up to. Resolutions in general are good though, and I hear it in your voice that you are preparing for some.
I'm not in your situation of such pain and while I have sleeping problems, they're pretty pedestrian in comparison (it sounds like).
That said, I too know that there are some major diet changes I need to make to lessen certain health issues (including sometimes poor sleeping), but I have a hard time making this change too. I share this only to bring home that you are not alone; that I empathize.

I really enjoyed reading your blogging friends comments above. There are some wonderful and loving thoughts there.

I love how you end the post with positivity.

I'm back on the sugar train, but the last time I got off one of the tricks I used was to have loads of fresh and ripe fruit on hand constantly to munch on throughout the day. Yes, they still have sugar, but it's not refined and once the refined sugar cravings stopped (took about two or three months) I lessened them to a more balanced amount. Hmmmmm . . . I'm feeling motivated to make some changes now :) Thank you for the inspiration, Laura. :)

Mina said...

I am so sorry to hear you have constant pain issues. I do understand as I have lupus and fibromyalgia and deal with it often as well. Healthy eating, exercise and low stress does make a difference...it's just so hard to follow sometimes. lol

Thank you for your lovely visit and comment. Your fur babies are all beautiful sweetie. Mina