The past few years, I've learned not to make resolutions. Failing to live up to them, always causes such anguish and self recrimination. Putting myself down is not something I'm willing to do anymore.
I woke late yesterday, but spent a good half hour on my Wii Fit, doing yoga, strength & balance exercises. I felt really good about that. I did well with my eating choices too, until the evening. For the past several months I've been seriously examining my food choices. I'm tired of all the junk that I eat. I want healthy things, actual Food to pass these lips. I am however a major sugar addict and getting off the sugar train is going to take a lot of strength of will, which seems to be in short supply right now. I suppose I'm going to have to purge my home of all the "temptations" that lie in the cupboards.
I don't know if it was the exercise or the new book I started reading last night, but insomnia decided to share the bed with me. It was after 4am before I was able to sleep. I finally woke, close to noon, with my head completely engulfed in pain. This is a normal course for me (the head pain - the insomnia hasn't visited in months). Some days I can move through it and others not so much. So, today my brain is like the photo above - a jumbled mass of light and dark.
Living with constant pain is very wearying. It's been over two years since I was taken out of work. Several more years prior since I've had a day without a spot of pain. Days like this would normally bring me down emotionally. I would fall back into a dark hole of depression that would linger and seem to exacerbate the headaches. I'm choosing to look at today a little differently.
2012 showed me that life is all about how you look at the things that happen, or don't happen as the case may be.
Yes, I did good things yesterday. Yes, I'd wanted to continue that today as well. But my body has different ideas for today. I pushed myself extremely hard during December. Maybe it is time that I slow down again and take some time to pay attention to my body. I don't feel bad for not doing any exercise today. I don't feel bad (emotionally) for the soda I'm sipping while I write this post. I know that drinking it will make me feel physically bad, though. (I know this and am still drinking it...go figure!)
2013 is going to be a year of change for me. I still feel like I'm on the right track, even without the stretches today. :-)
How do you make big changes when needed? Have any of you (if anyone still visits here) stepped or jumped off the sugar train? I'd love to hear how you did it.
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