full moon influences...

I thought I'd share some of my favorite full moon pictures I've taken over the years, on this Full Pink/Wind Moon.
 
I'm still not sleeping well.  Last night was a very weird one.  I went to bed early, around 12:30a, which is very early for me lately.  It was probably 1 or so before I drifted off.  Should have been a very good sleep night for me.  But...something/someone else had other ideas.  I kept jerking out of sleep, heart racing, breathe either stuttering in my chest or no breathe at all.  I am one of those people who when startled, freeze up completely.  I can't move at all, no matter how much I want.

Each time I awoke, I would listen and try to hear what disturbed me.  One time it was a sound of knuckles against my bedroom window.  The other times it was whispering in my ear, or the sound of footsteps, or feeling something brush against my exposed skin or my favorite, the creaking table. 
 

It seemed like every 30-45 minutes I was jerked out of sleep. So, of course, I'm exhausted today.  But sometime during the mostly sleepless night, I felt a stirring deep inside.  When I finally woke for good this morning, I was ready to start the day.  

Not like I have been lately, but like I did, before I became so ill.  I got up, planned out a few things for the day whilst showering and, after dressing, opened all the blinds in my home.  I wanted to see the sun.  So what if I have to wear my sunglasses inside all day.  Let some light, in dammit!  So...

I think the moon spoke to me last night and has given me energy all day.  (As well, as some others speaking to me)  I've done some cleaning, grocery shopping, planted a few things in my little garden, fixed and lit a full moon candle and picked a made a little flower bouquet from mine and my neighbors (she doesn't mind) garden as an offering to the moon and the spirits.  Now dinner is on the stove and I've done a little sketch.  

I feel, well, alive.  For the first time in a long time.  The pain in my head is still there and making me want to stab myself with a hot poker, but I'm so tired of letting it win.

Thank you Grandmother Moon, for giving me this push.  I hope I can make you proud.

How do you feel when the moon is full?

Thanks for stopping in for a read.
love & blessings
~*~

ps...I mentioned last post about finding a clinic to seek treatment.  Well...I contacted on in Michigan and went through all the calls/questions/etc and was rejected.  They said they thought I'd do better at a facility closer to me.  I knew when I finished talking with the nurse that they wouldn't take me.  And two days later they called to say sorry, try somewhere else.  Oh well...I've just found that CBD is legal in my state, so I'll be searching out some of that this week and I have another idea up my sleeve.  I may try another clinic.  But, I can only take so much rejection.  haha.  xoxo 

pps...I'll tell the story of the creaking table soon.  :-)