17 January 2014

not letting it get to me

In my last post I said I would tell the story of how I almost had a stroke while at the pharmacy.  After several days of cumulative events that are conspiring to bring me down, I really don't want to go into the long drawn out story.  What I will do is share with you the short version of that and all the rest of current events that are trying their best to take me down.

The first was the pharmacy trip.  Over the course of several months and lots of phone calls I've been going through the process of changing my health insurance.  (I bet you can already guess where this is going, can't you?)  On Wednesday when I went to pick up prescriptions they asked for my new health insurance card but when processed it said I had no insurance.  I spent 45 minutes standing off to the side in the pharmacy on the phone with the insurance company and it will be fixed.  But I still needed my prescriptions, all $650.00 of them.  

Later that same day, my handy dandy repairman was fixing what he thinks is causing the crawlspace under the house to flood when we have lots of rain.  What initially was to be about $100 turned into over $300.

These two events were bad, but I was okay with them because I actually had the money available and while it leaves me with no savings, at least it is taken care of (plus I will get the RX money reimbursed).

And yet today, when I went to shower I discovered just a trickle of water coming from the hot tap and lots of squealing (as if the line was full of air).  I thought to myself, okay, hot water heater probably needs replacing.  Back came my handy dandy repairman who discovered that while my water heater is old, it is not in any way faulty.  No, the fault is the galvanized pipes under the house.  The pipes that were installed originally back in the 40's.  I can't even bring myself to tell you how much this is going to cost.

I'm trying to decide if this is the Universes way of saying, no you can't get ahead or if it is telling me I shouldn't move and should stay right here.  I'd finally come to the decision that once the house is under contract I will look out of state for a place to rent. A small house with some land maybe or at least a little bit of a lot to plant on.  

When I consult the Spirits they tell me that my headaches will not be relieved until I am out of the city.  And while I have more energy and feel oh so much better with my new healthy eating habits, getting these headaches to stop is my number one priority.  So what is a girl to do?  Stay in this old little cottage (that I really do love) and tend to it the best I can or sell my cottage, move to an entirely new place and start life again?

I don't have the answer right now.  I am just going to let the Universe guide me.  I plan to do some Work to state clearly to the Universe what I WANT and then I will let it go and just go on as I can.

Instead of letting all this drive me into a deep dark hole (where I would have gone in the past) or to the candy/soda shop, I've been putting myself to work.  

I used the few days prior to the full moon to finish more SpiritWreaths and charged them on the full moon.  They are currently tagged and sitting at a local shop on consignment.  I've already made plans for more so that I can set up shop online.  In addition, I left a stack of business cards at the shop.

I began work on an art piece that has been in my head for a while.  

I've added another page to my art journal.  I'm practicing my drawing more.

I've watched a movie and have another to watch.

I've started learning to crochet.

I am doing.  To me, that is what is most important. By doing all these things, I'm taking that very important step onto the path, instead of hiding in the woods and watching as life passes me by.  I have to say, I'm quite proud of myself.  

Have you taken any important steps lately?



Jennifer said...

Sweet Laura, some nightmare experiences you've had. Hate those times when it all comes down at you at once and you just think to yourself "What next?!" Doing helps, sleeping helps the most. After a really rough patch a bunch of sleeps help me to feel regenerated. It is weird how time really does help to move on from tough times.

Ms Misantropia said...

I am sorry to hear about your money and living situation troubles. Sometimes you just have to make a decision and stick with it. But I know exactly how hard that is. I am myself in the process of change, forced to make some very difficult decisions. It sucks, to be honest.

Sara ~Snövits äpple~ said...

Dear Laura! What a lovely blog you have.
I am so sorry to hear about the problems you have.
You should be very proud of yourself. I do think that when going through a hard time it helps to do crafts and cook.
I have taken some important steps recently. I have begun to meditate pretty much every day. And also, I have begun to take very long walks almost everyday.
xxx from Sara in Sweden