mistakes

have you ever made a mistake?  a mistake that felt so devastating at the time that all you could do was hide in a dark corner and cry?  the pain so intense that it is smothering?  an outlet must be found,  something/anything that will distract you or cover the pain you feel?  even if the distraction is another mistake, a problem in and of itself...

yesterday was one of those days.  it started out bad but seemed to be getting better.  then - BAM! 
a hard public punch to the gut, a slap in the face.  i kept myself together until i arrived home.  the moment i crossed the threshold, i broke down.  blinds were drawn, doors closed.  too much...too much pain, too much embarrassment.   too many thoughts - "stupid!  why do you keep letting this happen?" " how much of a moron can you be?"

i really thought that was it...the final straw, so to speak. 

i hid the rest of the night - kept to myself - no phone, no internet

this morning, i sucked it up and looked for a way to fix it.  by the end of the day, it was taken care of

i hate how it was resolved, but there wasn't another option

i guess i'll come out of my corner now

try to figure out how to make certain i never make this mistake again.

i can do that,  be more careful, more aware.
i have to...

blessings
~*~

ps...due to the big mistake i won't be participating in the Halloween Party hosted by A Fanciful Twist.  i hope you'll take a gander at Vanessa's party.  i know it will be fab!  i will visit those who do host their own party.  i'm just going to think of it as having more time to plan for next year.  :-/

pps...i can't stop listening to this song (sorry bout the adverts)...and this one.  i know... i'm weird.  i don't mind.