12 October 2012


have you ever made a mistake?  a mistake that felt so devastating at the time that all you could do was hide in a dark corner and cry?  the pain so intense that it is smothering?  an outlet must be found,  something/anything that will distract you or cover the pain you feel?  even if the distraction is another mistake, a problem in and of itself...

yesterday was one of those days.  it started out bad but seemed to be getting better.  then - BAM! 
a hard public punch to the gut, a slap in the face.  i kept myself together until i arrived home.  the moment i crossed the threshold, i broke down.  blinds were drawn, doors closed.  too much...too much pain, too much embarrassment.   too many thoughts - "stupid!  why do you keep letting this happen?" " how much of a moron can you be?"

i really thought that was it...the final straw, so to speak. 

i hid the rest of the night - kept to myself - no phone, no internet

this morning, i sucked it up and looked for a way to fix it.  by the end of the day, it was taken care of

i hate how it was resolved, but there wasn't another option

i guess i'll come out of my corner now

try to figure out how to make certain i never make this mistake again.

i can do that,  be more careful, more aware.
i have to...


ps...due to the big mistake i won't be participating in the Halloween Party hosted by A Fanciful Twist.  i hope you'll take a gander at Vanessa's party.  i know it will be fab!  i will visit those who do host their own party.  i'm just going to think of it as having more time to plan for next year.  :-/

pps...i can't stop listening to this song (sorry bout the adverts)...and this one.  i know... i'm weird.  i don't mind.


Pumpkin Cottage said...

I've surely been there and done that...even though I know we all have different circumstances. What I do now is remember not to "cut off my nose to spite my face". We all make mistakes..it is what it is but were human and that is to be expected. Just learn from it. IF your judging yourself now is the time to let that go in the wind.

Today is a new day and a new moment.

Take care

http://afancifultwist.typepad.com said...

We will miss you so much!! But I totally understand. Feel free to change your mind at the last minute ;)

I have been there too.

Certain things just take a little while for us to get over - and that time is important you know?

Cry hide - and then one day, you'll feel all better again.

Whatever it is, big hugs!!

Love, V

Lorna said...

Oh, you're hurting. So sorry.
You're still surrounded by beauty though.


Im sorry....I could feel your pain in your text as if I was there and witnessed your horrible day but am glad you got out of that corner fast. Keep your head held high friend as time heals all.

Linda said...

I've been there myself, and still think about it today, but I am better for it. I'm giving you a vertual hug....please enjoy it. We all have to hold our heads up and walk away. You are a good person and will recover.

Thank you for your comment. I am following you now.

Lisa Lectura Creations said...

I can totally relate. We all make mistakes in life and it takes a lot of courage to own up to it. Hope everything works out. Sending you big hugs and positive vibes sweetie! :)

Bobbypin Bandit said...

I know exactly what you mean. I have days like that, where it feels better to pull the covers over my head and just say, phooey! Taking that time to yourself helps you deal with things face first, though. At least you dealt with the situation and didn't run from it.

Whatever it is will be better, and is probably better by now.

I read somewhere that mistakes are the portals of discovery...

Sending you hugs and good vibes from afar!

Victoria said...

Hello kindred..sending you thoughts of comfort and light..many hugs and sparkles surrounding you! be gentle and kind and loving to yourself! hang in there..hope all is well and brighter now!

Queen Creative said...

I read somewhere that a life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

I know, sounds a bit far fetched when you are reeling from one of your big doozies!

But given time you will realise that life does go on, and you are still alive and well with a lot of GREAT decisions under your belt!

Sending you healing and happy vibes :)