12 October 2012
have you ever made a mistake? a mistake that felt so devastating at the time that all you could do was hide in a dark corner and cry? the pain so intense that it is smothering? an outlet must be found, something/anything that will distract you or cover the pain you feel? even if the distraction is another mistake, a problem in and of itself...
yesterday was one of those days. it started out bad but seemed to be getting better. then - BAM!
a hard public punch to the gut, a slap in the face. i kept myself together until i arrived home. the moment i crossed the threshold, i broke down. blinds were drawn, doors closed. too much...too much pain, too much embarrassment. too many thoughts - "stupid! why do you keep letting this happen?" " how much of a moron can you be?"
i really thought that was it...the final straw, so to speak.
i hid the rest of the night - kept to myself - no phone, no internet
this morning, i sucked it up and looked for a way to fix it. by the end of the day, it was taken care of
i hate how it was resolved, but there wasn't another option
i guess i'll come out of my corner now
try to figure out how to make certain i never make this mistake again.
i can do that, be more careful, more aware.
i have to...
ps...due to the big mistake i won't be participating in the Halloween Party hosted by A Fanciful Twist. i hope you'll take a gander at Vanessa's party. i know it will be fab! i will visit those who do host their own party. i'm just going to think of it as having more time to plan for next year. :-/
pps...i can't stop listening to this song (sorry bout the adverts)...and this one. i know... i'm weird. i don't mind.