24 February 2010

I'm still here

No, I haven't vanished. I'm still here, barely. I've wanted to post, but I just haven't had the energy or much to say. I'm still not sure that I have much to say, but I'll say something anyway...

I'm back at work this week, after a two week absence, but it is not voluntary. I had a round of migraines that literally knocked me down. I could barely stand long enough to feed the kids two times a day. I had to hold the wall to keep from keeling over each time I needed to use the loo. On the day of my 10th in a row absence from work (this past Friday, mind you), my mum came over so I could have someone in the house while I showered. She took me to the grocers and swept up a little. While we were out she said that if I wasn't feeling better by Monday she was having me admitted to hospital until they figure out what is causing this. Needless to say, I forced myself to work on Monday and every day since. Today was a close one, though I made it in. I spent most of the day at my desk, hidden from everyone else, silently crying in pain.

I have continued to take the meds as prescribed. The middle of last week, I managed to call in to the Dr and ask when I might expect the meds to provide some relief. They seemed surprised that it hadn't kicked in yet and then called me later with a new prescription. Mum was bringing insulin for the beastie so she went and picked up the new meds. So far, no relief. I'm still slowly upping the dosage as instructed. When I finally get to the max dosage, I'll be taking nine capsules a day. Yes, I said nine. This is quite a lot for a person who has a very high intolerance for being able to swallow pills. But, I'll do it.

The MRI was not too bad, except for my intolerance of loud sounds and the nurse not being able to get the catheter into my vein, it went fine. There was nothing odd found, I have been assured, so that is good. Tomorrow night is the sleep study and then I return to the Dr on March 8.

I truly do not know what I will do if they can't find any cause for these pains. I cannot continue on like this. Nothing has been done around the house, the weather is starting to turn toward spring and yet the last thing on my mind is the gardens. I'm supposed to start the second year of my Herbal Apprenticeship classes this Saturday and I'm so worried I won't be able to make it.

See, this is why I haven't posted, because I have nothing good to say. I'm still slowly reading through my blogroll and commenting when I feel compelled. I hope to be able to get back to some regular postings soon. I really have so many things I want to talk about here. But some of it needs more thinking and mostly I need more energy to do so.



Anonymous said...

I will send healing energy your way.

I have been in your shoes and know how frustrating it is when they can't find out what is causing your migraines. Turns out mine are caused by a drop in the barametric pressure. Let's just say I am a human barameter. Lol

I hope they will find something for you to give you relief.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you still aren't feeling well.. I'll keep you in my prayers..

faerwillow said...

~i am so sorry for the unknown pain...i know how frustrating it an be to suffer and have no reason that lies behind it...there will be an answer and a resolution for you...i wish you much brighter days and no pain to endure...my thought and blessings remain~

Lorna said...

You're in my thoughts and prayers.
And wherever I keep my admiration.

Patricia said...

I hope the new meds (or SOMETHING out there) will bring you some relief soon and I will send some healing thoughts your way. The image of you crying alone at work, I can't shake it and really hope things improve.

Elizabeth Rhiannon said...

Hi Laura...Now, I'm not expecting a reply soon, not in your state but I only wanted to check that my e-mail got through to you yesterday. DO NOT reply until you feel better...just a simple nod that you got it will suffice. I truly hope you feel better soon...I know how debilitating migraines can be. Yours has gone on too long. Thinking of you, please feel better soon :)

LLEAL said...

Dear Laura

I have to blend out words such as fascinating, mesmerizing, stunning and enchanting as well just to describe your blog.
I would be honored not only with a single visit but also with the possibility of having your name on our friend's group.