unintentionally sporadic care...

i - this week has been crap...

ii - the cold is coming so the plants have been brought in.  i'm trying some in new places, hoping they will survive my unintentionally sporadic care...

iii - i swear yesterday was monday.  really...i don't know where the last four days went...

iv - therapy this week and it was spent not talking about what i'd gone in thinking i wanted to talk about, but about how small the world is (turns out my therapist was a part of a community i used to be a part of and we know a lot of the same people)...

v - it is THAT time of year again.  the time when nearly every show and commercial and radio station and all of the world is in the "its the most wonderful time of the year", and i'm in 'i f*king hate being alone and just want the world to shut up because it all makes me cry'...

vi - i'm pondering next year's plans.  2021 was the year of art and i have spent it participating in a couple of year long art groups (and i've enjoyed it very much, despite feeling constantly behind).  several months ago i was hit with my word for 2022 - create.  

    when it came to me, i realized that while i have done a lot of art this year, it's always someone else's art.  so for 2022, i want to create my own.  and not just painting/mixed media, but creating everything.  i want to play with clay, metal, wood, baking, cooking, just...create. 

vii - due to my create plan, i'm having trouble deciding if i should re-up for some of the year long art groups.  i've settled my mind on one of them, but the big one i'm just not sure about yet...decisions, decisions...

viii - my numbers have been high, and i can't seem to get a handle on them.  does insulin stop working?  i swear i always feel like i'm playing russian roulette when i eat/bolus. diabetes fatigue is so very real, y'all...

ix - i'm itching to hit the road. i want the ocean and/or the mountains. but...

x - i agreed to fix the turkey meal again this year and i also took on xmas.  however...the turkey plans changed as an attendee to the meal has been to 3 football games in the past week and will attend another one the day before coming to my house.  my plague anxiety is such that i've gone back to last years turkey meal plan (i'll prepare togo dishes for them to take away). we'll have to see what happens for xmas.

well...that's it for now. i hope you're all hanging in there...

thanks for reading...

~*~