16 January 2016

taking steps for change...

As you know, I started walking back in September (I think).  I started out slow and built up until I was walking just over 3 miles several times a week.  I was trying to go for every day and some weeks I made that goal and some weeks I didn't.  A lot of time it was due to very cold temps and/or lots of rain.  At first, I didn't let the rain stop me.  Then it turned cold and well...I got sick.  

Keeping all that in mind, and what I would like to continue to accomplish with moving my body, I decided to take advantage of a perk that came with my new health insurance.  (Actually, I made the decision to change it just so I could use this perk, as my old insurance didn't offer it.)  
 The perk being a free fitness center membership.  I investigated several neighboring centers and settled on the local YMCA.  I'm very happy with it so far.

After spending a few days using the treadmill and wanting to use other equipment but not having any sense of how or when or to what purpose, I broke out my courage and signed up for a personal trainer.  

At our first meeting she made a few suggestions that have already made a big impact.  
I must record every bite of food and drink I put in my body.  I'll be honest, this is hard.  See, despite my size, I'm not one to eat much.  I rarely eat more than one meal a day and maybe a little bit of snacking.  I'm just not hungry most of the time.  

I must also eat at least three meals a day although she wants me to eat 4-5 small meals.  Well, all my meals are small.  I already eat smallish servings.  I've been eating like this for four days and I can't tell you how much food I'm eating.
Well, actually I can.  In order to record it accurately I have to measure everything!  Even if something is a single serving (like that yogurt cup down there) I have to measure it to make sure it is accurate.  Mentally, it seems like a lot of food, but when it is measured it really isn't, I guess.
It seems like I spend a good portion of my day on this.  I'm usually gone to the Y for a couple of hours (that includes the drive to and from).  I feel like it is taking over my life and yet, it doesn't feel like a bad thing.

G (my trainer) says I won't always have to measure. Once my eyes/brain adjust to seeing the sizes it will come naturally.  

I like the Y.  I like the people, the setting, the pool (yes I've swum (swam?) a couple of times and plan to do more.  But... I miss my outside walks.  When I signed up I was only planning to go to the Y when the weather was not conducive to my walking outside.  So far, that hasn't really happened. 

Yesterday, I did my treadmill for 1.5 miles then switched to the bike.  As I neared completion of my 30 minutes (it ended up being 2.54 miles) I almost broke into tears.  There were extra pains in my head (in addition to the viciously monstrous lovely pains I always have) and it all just seemed too much.  I managed to hold it together until I finished and made it to the locker room where I hid in the toilet stall and let the tears silently fall for a few minutes.  I kept thinking it was all just too much and I couldn't do it anymore.
I guess it is a constant battle, this personal war I have with myself and things I can and can't do.  These are all good changes I'm making and they should have been done a long, long time ago.  No one pushed me into this (and I've been pushed a lot over my life) and no one said I had to do this.  This was my choice, my decision and I need to stand my it.  Even if I have to spend every minute of my time arguing with myself, I think it will be worth it.

Time to get my shoes on and head to the Y.  :-)

Thanks for stopping by!
love & blessings

ps...I know!  Two posts in two days!  Shocker!  :-P  teehee


Laura M said...

Health can be a struggle. I am trying to eat healthier, I am often too tired to cook! Just don't push yourself too hard!

Tammie Lee said...

this sounds wonderful.
measuring must take a lot of time.
maybe once in a while eat a half an avocado and an apple, easier for measuring ;-)

Magic Love Crow said...

Good for you! I am proud of you! Keep smiling and keep doing what is important to you!

Magaly Guerrero said...

Your personal trainer is completely right. I remember having to measure every single thing, having to find out how each food affected my body... and, my goodness, the routine sucked my day. But after a few weeks at it, I did it by heart. Today, I can eyeball anything, and don't overeat or eat too little. My stomach issues make my diet very strict.

The same will become true about your exercising. You will get hooked, and then it will just a part of you day. A part you'll look forward to. ♥