Habits

 First, I'd like to say thank you to everyone that left a comment or messaged me about my last post.  Things were better the next day and I have been very conscious of what mistakes I made and not making them again.  Without going into detail about the situation, what it all boils down to is habits.  Bad habits, in this case.

Thinking about the situation and trying to find a fix for it led me to much contemplation about how our habits develop and how we can change them.  When I have a bad habit that I need to deal with, I find the best way is to replace the bad habit with a good habit.  To consciously focus on replacing the negative with a positive.  It isn't easy, that is for certain.  But it is something that can be accomplished. 

There is a blog that I follow that I just love.  It is called "habit" and can be found here.  Give it a look, you may find you like it too.

I'd been meaning to post early in the week, to let everyone know I was fine, that things were better.  And they were.  Well, then they weren't.  This past Monday morning I received word that a good friend had died suddenly during the early morning hours.  It was amazingly shocking.  She was a lovely friend to my mum and I had spent a lot of time with her and we'd become friends as well.  She had such an amazing eye for decorating, color, etc.  She was an artist of the home.  A few weeks ago, she gave me a painting that she didn't want anymore.  When I look at this painting I will always she her beautiful smile.  That afternoon we walked to her home (she lived in the same neighborhood with my mum) and as I was walking past the side of her home, I glanced down and saw a bright red feather lying there.  I swear she saw us coming and left that feather there just for me.  She was just like that feather - so I collected it and it is now on my ancestor altar along with the program from her service.  I will soon print out a photo of her and place it there as well.  It is hard watching my mum and her friends hurting so over their close friends passing.  It will take a long time for this to get easier. 

Anywho, it will probably be quiet here for the next week or so.  I was to participate in the Halloween Party that Vanessa is hosting but had to back out.  I'm going on an adventure Thursday and am so looking forward to it.  I promise to return with lots of photos and stories to share.  Maybe even some new art! 

Have a wonderfully magical week and I'll see you soon!

blessings
~*~



ps...Sorry for no photos in today's post.

pps...Go here and read the article.  It is amazing!  It will change your life, if you let it.  I love the concept and started it today.  Believe it or not, practicing this helped me get through a very difficult day, a little bit easier.  It will take some time to be better at it, but it is wondrous!  Thanks to the fantastic Lesley Riley who shared it on her Facebook page yesterday!

mistakes

have you ever made a mistake?  a mistake that felt so devastating at the time that all you could do was hide in a dark corner and cry?  the pain so intense that it is smothering?  an outlet must be found,  something/anything that will distract you or cover the pain you feel?  even if the distraction is another mistake, a problem in and of itself...

yesterday was one of those days.  it started out bad but seemed to be getting better.  then - BAM! 
a hard public punch to the gut, a slap in the face.  i kept myself together until i arrived home.  the moment i crossed the threshold, i broke down.  blinds were drawn, doors closed.  too much...too much pain, too much embarrassment.   too many thoughts - "stupid!  why do you keep letting this happen?" " how much of a moron can you be?"

i really thought that was it...the final straw, so to speak. 

i hid the rest of the night - kept to myself - no phone, no internet

this morning, i sucked it up and looked for a way to fix it.  by the end of the day, it was taken care of

i hate how it was resolved, but there wasn't another option

i guess i'll come out of my corner now

try to figure out how to make certain i never make this mistake again.

i can do that,  be more careful, more aware.
i have to...

blessings
~*~

ps...due to the big mistake i won't be participating in the Halloween Party hosted by A Fanciful Twist.  i hope you'll take a gander at Vanessa's party.  i know it will be fab!  i will visit those who do host their own party.  i'm just going to think of it as having more time to plan for next year.  :-/

pps...i can't stop listening to this song (sorry bout the adverts)...and this one.  i know... i'm weird.  i don't mind.

a bit of this and that...

Hellooo!  I hope this finds you all doing well.  It is really just a little update post, not much going on.  Or rather a lot that isn't getting anywhere right now.  Do you like my top photo?  I went to edit it to add the  copyright info and found that picmonkey has their Halloween tools available.  Very cute stuff... so I just started playing.  Anywhoo...those are some beautiful mums I picked up and a few new pumpkins that I found all at my local Farmer's Market.  I love that place.

I've been itching to get my hands in yarn again and I'd recently found two patterns I really wanted to work on.  One is a scarf for a sweet boy I know.  His favorite colors are red and blue so I figure I'll give it a go.  (Of course I went to start on it earlier and found I don't have the right size needles, so I'll hit the local yarn shop later today and pick some up.)  I also got yarn for what looks like a super easy hat.  I'm hoping it is as once I make it if it goes well that may become what I give as Yule/X-mas gifts this year.  The rainbow hued one on top is just cause it was so pretty and such neat looking yarn.  Who knows what that will be used for...

And our last picture shows the progress I made this week on installing a new flower bed in my yard.  I started out cleaning up the one beside the drive (which is all ivy and was taking over the driveway).  Then I started working my way to the back along the fence to add the new bed.  I got about half done before my body just gave out.  I think I worked for about 6 hours and was on a double dose of pain meds at the time.  I tried to go out the next day to finish up, but I had no strength in my hands and could barely stand to bend over, much less try to dig out the grass and weeds.  When this bed is finished I'll move my lone rose bush from in front of the house (where it doesn't get enough sun) to the middle of the new bed.  Eventually it will be filled with peonies, roses and all sorts of flowers.  I hope to get it finished up next week.

I'm in full planning mode for all the events coming up this month.  I will be attending the Red Thread Retreat at the end of the month so have been collecting supplies that I need for that.  I also signed up for another art course.  This one, also with Lesley Riley, looks like just what I need to get me going and I'm very excited about it.  And, of course, there is the fantastically magical Halloween Party hosted by the lovely and talented Miss Vanessa of A Fanciful Twist. 

Do you think that is enough fun for one month?  Oh wait... I forgot about the actual Halloween!  I don't have plans for that night, except to give out candy to any neighborhood trick or treaters that stop by.  Hopefully I'll have quite a few so that I don't get stuck with lots of leftover candy. 

Well, I'm off to start that hat - since I can't sleep, I might as well be productive, right?

love & blessings
~*~

Let's go to a party...

Can you feel that?  That tingle in the air, the crisp breeze that whispers of wizardry.  It's time for a party. 

Time to take a trip to A Fanciful Twist and see what magic Vanessa will conjure up for us.  I can't wait for the party and hope that you can join us.

love & blessings
~*~