26 April 2010
you know how when you were a kid you used to twirl and twirl until everything was spinning around and even when you stopped the world kept spinning? that's how i've been feeling.. why i haven't been posting...
my head is constantly twirling and i've just not been able to stay still long enough to get my footing. there is so much in my head, so many thoughts and sounds, ideas and wants, so much pain and confusion that they just take words right out of my mouth. it takes away my ability to really communicate
because of the migraines, there have been numerous and varied medicines that have made me sicker than the pain of the migraines, days of nausea, vomiting - it isn't good for a diabetic to be unable to eat for days at a time. there have been lots of doctor visits, lots of blood work and other tests... i'm now required to take my blood pressure twice a day in addition to all i have to do for the diabetes.
i guess it all became too much and my mind has just been unable to form thoughts that could go here, on the blog, thoughts that i felt i could share. sometimes i feel like i am posting for all the wrong reasons and then other times, that i'm not posting the right things.
today is one of those bad migraine days...they come and go and when they are gone, i try to take advantage of the freedom and do things that need to be done, things that are fun because if and when they come back, everything falls behind again.
i've been able to get caught up at work...not completely, but i'm close to getting there, i think a lot of my stress will be reduced if i can get caught up, i'll feel like i'm making a contribution instead of constantly feeling like i'm letting everyone down.
home is basically the same, very behind on everything... i haven't even planted my vegetable garden yet. i hope that will be accomplished in the next few days. i was able to go out on saturday to the annual herbfest at our local farmers market. i picked up a few plants and didn't go overboard like i usually do...
i finally got my dahlia tubers planted and have been able to get some weeding done in various areas of the gardens, but there is still a long way to go.
i'm sure there will be more quietness here, until i'm able to start thinking straight again... there may be days of posts that have no words, just pictures and i hope you'll understand...sometimes i just have no words...