goals...

Goals are important.  Having them, striving for them, reaching them.  Goals are one of the most important things we can do.  To me, they are like dreams for ourselves that we plan, work and achieve.  

I've never been very good at goals.  I've set them and rarely reached them.  I don't know why that is, but there you have it.

Near the end of September, when I heard about Inktober, I set a goal for myself by joining up.  I also set a knitting goal with Scoreboard.  The latter is still in progress and will be until the end of my team's season.  I worked my way through Inktober and was quite proud of myself when I made it to the end of the month and had participated every day.  Since I enjoyed it so much I set a goal to participate in the Art Every Day Month during November as well as the NaBloPoMo.  So far, so good.

Another goal I set for myself, a while back was to work on my health.  I started walking and after a few days set a goal to be able to make it through a one mile walk.  When I reached that goal, I set a new one for 1.5 miles.  After a couple of weeks, I started to feel differently.  I could tell I was losing weight and I had more energy throughout the day.  I started weighing myself once a week and setting a 1lb loss every two weeks.  That is very reasonable, I think.  Every week, I walked as many days as I could.  Sometimes in the freezing cold, sometimes in the rain and sometimes both.  I walked in sunlight, in clouds, in fog.  

As I walked, I started to feel better, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.  I started being proud of myself.  I started having more self-confidence.  The more I walked, the more I wanted to walk. 

The day after I hosted my Halloween party, I woke up sick.  I spent a week nursing a sore throat, coughing, achy and chilled.  I barely walked even one day that week and worked my way through several cupcakes and lots of Halloween candy.  I gained 3 lbs that week. The weird thing was, I didn't get down on myself.  I recognized it for what it was, and moved on.  That has never happened before.  

As soon as I could, I started walking again.  I walk almost every day and on the days I don't walk, I really miss it.  I made it to 1.75 miles in my walk, then moved up to 2 miles.  I set a goal for my weight, a big one and a little one.  Then I started working hard to reach that goal.  Even on a day when I didn't think I could get out of bed, I made it up and out to walk. 

Today, I woke up late and thought it would be a wasted day.  But it was Saturday, so I got on my scales and found that not only had I lost that extra 3 lbs, but an additional 1.5 lbs.  But most importantly, I'd reached my big goal.  In fact, I reached it faster than I thought I would.  I couldn't ask for better motivation.  I changed into my walking clothes and shoes and headed out for a walk.

It feels really good to reach a goal.  No matter what else happens, accomplishing something each day makes me feel good about myself and works to my biggest goal, to be happy.  So yeah, I'm tooting my own horn a little today.  I think that's a first, but you know what?  I deserve it.  I earned it.  So...Yay, Me!  :)

Anywho, here's today's aedm, a pencil sketch.  I really like the way she turned out. 

Just keep practicing, that is one of my goals.  

Do you set goals for yourself?  Do you do little or big goals?

thanks for stopping by!
love & blessings
~*~ 

having a goal...

I'm finding that I really enjoy doing something creative every day.  Even if I only spend a few minutes doodling in my sketchbook, it makes me happy.  

Being happy is my goal in life.  It might seems like an odd goal to have.  To most, being happy is probably quite normal.  Well, I've never claimed to be anywhere near normal.  

One of yesterdays projects was a bust and I've glass to try to clean up so I can try another method.  I don't mind.  That is half the fun, isn't?  Experimenting, trying something new.  I could probably look on google and find out how to do what I'm trying to do and maybe I will but it was still fun to give it a whirl.

I've several projects going in the studio.  I find I work better that way, so while paint or glue or what-have-you, dries on one, I can be working on another.  That makes sense doesn't it?

About the photos: the first, a new doll I found today at a bargain shop.  I'd never heard of the Ever After dolls and this is Madeline Hatter, daughter of the Mad Hatter.  She was just so cute and made me giggle so I bought her.  She'll fit right in with Draculaura, Lily Munster and Jade J'Adore.  :-)

The second photo is a work in progress.  It is a mixed media piece I did back in early 2013 and was just horrible.  I finally gesso'd it and am just letting it guide me to what it wants to be.  I've been working on it for a few months, a little at a time, and I'm happy while I move my brush against the canvas.  

It's all about finding my happy.  That is my goal and it is good.

What goal are you working on lately?  I'd love to hear.

thanks for stopping by, 
love & blessings
~*~

PS...I've noticed that blogger is not sending me all the comments.  Normally I get an email of any comments posted to my blog, but some of them are not coming through.  I try to reply to you, if I can, because it means so much that you leave me a comment.  So, if you don't hear from me, please don't think that I don't appreciate your comment.  I really do! 

L. R. A. or how I deal...

In my current life experience there are three very important words - Learning, Recognizing and Accepting.  I live with a chronic illness.  For those of you that have been reading my blog for a while, this is not news.  For any newbies, it is news and it might explain a few things (for everybody really).  I have chronic severe headaches.  I have not had a single moment without severe pain in over six years.  Prior to that I would go for days and months with severe headaches and then they would lessen and sometimes even stop for an hour or two. 

I have seen many doctors, had tons of tests, surgeries, been on more medicine that you could find in a pharmacy and still they can find nothing to explain or even give a bit of relief.  All of this has been taking its toll for a while now.  I had to leave work and have been on disability for a few years.  I am unable to socialize very well (not that I was that great at it to begin with, but...).  I'm extremely sensitive to sound and sometimes light.  I don't know if it is the constant pain or all the medicines, but my cognitive reasoning and functioning is becoming much more difficult.  To add to all this, the past month or two I've started having panic attacks again.  Fifteen years ago I was in a constant state of panic and even locked in my home for 3 months.  But I got past it with Paxil and therapy.


Hmmm... I have digressed.  Back to LRA.  With a chronic illness comes learning limits.  One must learn that they have them, then learn to recognize them (see what I did there) and then of course one must learn to accept them.  I've been having a lot of problems with this you see.  But I think, maybe, I've finally caught on.  Today I had a breakthrough or epiphany.  Today, I recognized my limits and I accepted them.

As I've written recently we've had loads of cold, wet days.  Yesterday was our first good day of warm sunshine in a while.  I would have loved to head out to the garden and weed (it is very meditative for me), everything was just too wet.  So, I sat on the deck in my pretty blue chair and soaked in some vitamin d.

Today, it is a perfect garden day.  So of course, I wanted to take advantage of that fact.  I got the mowing done first and then rested a little bit while trying to decide what garden project needed attention next. 

I picked on of the beds to work on as I want to get angelica, rue, hollyhocks and echinacea planted there.  I worked there for a little while and started to feel nauseous.  Since I hadn't had breakfast I thought maybe my blood sugar was acting wonky again (yes I'm diabetic too).  Went in and checked and it was at a good number but I thought I should fix myself a little something.  I took my half sandwich to my pretty blue chair and was only able to eat less than half before I started feeling even more nauseous and sick.  I drank a lot of water and rested for a wee bit before getting back to work in the garden bed.  In my head I could hear a few different voices (not a thing unusual in that, I assure you).  One was saying it was time to stop, that I could work again on another day but today was not a good one for me.  The other voice chimed in saying to stop listening to the first and to get cracking.  I have so much to do and if I stop I'll never get it done.  Don't be a lazy sod about it all.  (Yes my inner voices are mostly British, Scottish and Welsh accented, tee hee!)

I sat there pulling weeds, bending and digging while listening to these voices (and a few others that chimed in).  I kept telling myself, just get half way done and that will be good. Come on, just a little bit more.  It's a lovely day after all and you really need to take advantage of it.  Keep going, keep going, keep going...

Then it happened... I stopped.  I looked at what I'd done and what I had left to go and I said, Enough.  Of course I was almost at the point of vomiting and passing out, but I got the message.  My body is just not up to it today.   I looked at my unfinished bed (not quite halfway done, but close) and said to myself, it's OKAY to stop.  Let's go rest.

 I put away the mower, took my tools inside and came out for my water bottle and camera and found this lovely little guy.  He's so beautiful and I wish I could keep him close so that when he changes into a butterfly I'll know just which one he is.  I wonder what he'll look like and hope he'll be as beautiful as he is now.

 

 

 But here's the thing, he reminded me that we have to stop being one thing, in order to become something else entirely.  For me that means that I have to stop pushing myself to the point of dropping, take that rest that my body obviously requires and then become something again.  It's like every time I am able to step out into the sun and work in the garden I'm taking back a tiny portion of the life I lost when I got sick.  I think it is a good way to look at it and it is a healthy way to look at it, for me at least.

I hope I haven't bored anyone to tears or made you run screaming demanding the past few minutes of your life back.  I really appreciate having a place to share my life (I don't have many friends or people to talk to IRL) and I appreciate everyone taking the time to read these posts.

Monday is new doctor meeting day for me and I'm extra nervous, but extra hopeful too.  I may be a few days before I get back here, but please know I wish everyone a wonderful weekend and Happy Mother's Day!

In honor of the beautiful Miss V, I snipped my one blooming rose bud today and hung it  in the twinkle lights in my kitchen entry.  There is a storm blowing in tonight and tomorrow and if I hadn't picked it it would have fallen apart by Sunday.  The scent is heaven and I'm going to search for more plants as soon as I finish my nap.  :-)

Anywho, thanks for being here, it means a lot...

blessings
~*~

Projects

I have a list of projects that I want to do around my home. I decided that I will list them here so that I have some sort of accountability. As they get done, I'll post notes and photos. Sound good? Great! Here we go (in no particular order)...

Project: Yard: Status: begun (I actually have some landscape guys coming next week to start! Yippee!)
My yard is out of control. I have ivy and periwinkle ground covers covering almost everything including my shed. I also have all kinds of trees growing up that I just don't want to have there. In the summer they block off most of the yard and I can't see the back and watch for the dog. I have this grand plan in mind for what I'd like to do to my yard, and the start of that is to get it cleaned up.

Project: Paint Status: on hold for spring
The exterior of my house is cedar shake shingles. I have someone lined up to paint the exterior trim, the front porch floor and the front door. On the front window I have a dark green awning. It matches the porch floor. I'm thinking of painting the porch floor a sage green this time but am not sure about the awning cover and if I need to replace it or just was it. I don't want to remove it because it really helps keep out the heat from my bedroom. I'm also going to paint my front door a "different color". Right now it is white, like the trim of the house. I'll take some pictures and you guys can help me decide. :-)

Project: House shingles
I need to replace the cedar shake shingles on my home. Several are in good shape, but a lot are broken, exposing the clapboard underneath or they are so weathered down that there is barely anything there. One person suggested replacing them with concrete. They look just like wood, but would last a lot longer. I'm going to have to think about this.

Project: Fence Status: soon I hope...
My front fence pieces on each side of the house are woefully desperate to be replaced. One side is falling down, literally leaning about 90 degrees. The other side, the gate is almost impossible to open. The rest of the yard has chain link fencing. On one side, there are a lot of shrubs and trees that have grown up beside the fence and created nice privacy for the yard. The back has a privacy fence about a foot inside of the chain link fence that I think was put up just for privacy sake. It only goes to just behind the shed and doesn't go all the way across the yard. The last side is the problem side. It is the side with the "nasty neighbor". The one that had me looking for condos because I just could stand the thought of putting up with her anymore. Anyway, I have very little purposely growing along that fence, but anything that is there, she comes and pulls off the fence or her dad cuts it all down (over a foot inside MY side of the fence). That side is getting a privacy fence for certain!

Project: french door Status: found the door
I have a room that I use only for storage. It is currently storing my grandmothers reproduction Victorian living room set. There is a couch, two chairs, coffee table, and two end tables. The tables are cherry with marble tops. I have always loved this furniture and always pictured having a big house with a parlor with french doors that I could look into the room and see the furniture and be able to keep it pristine. With my tiny house, it is hard to deal with. Plus I have to keep the door to the room closed because of the kids. With the door closed, I lose a lot of light. So, I decided to buy an old french door and replace the door that is there. Yay!

Project: paint (interior)
ugh...

Project: restore windows
again... ugh... ($800 per window...oh my)

Project: shed
I'd like to turn the shed into something fun... like a little country room or a studio. Lots of ideas for this.

Project: Enclose part of deck
My dad did this at his house. He had a nice big deck and decided to enclose it (really it is a screened porch) but he put a vaulted roof instead of just a flat roof and added some skylights. I could live on that porch. My deck is plenty big enough to do this and I really think I'm going to do it. I might even go so far as to put glass and screen so I could protect it from the elements. I have a table that I want to get from our mountain house (big picnic style table {think Walton's} that is made of wormy chestnut), but I have nowhere to put it. I could put it out there it would be great and it would give me more space. :-)

Project: remodel bathroom
another ugh...

Project: ceiling stripping
My ceilings are in bad, bad shape. Someone put up that popcorn stuff in some of the rooms and it is falling off and the ceilings are splitting. In the office the ceiling is separating. It is bad.

Well, that is all I can think of now. I'll try to keep updated here and if you have any suggestions, please let me know. :-)

Blessings,
~*~